"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument lacks to illustrate necessary supports for it’s assumptions. It has not described how things have been since the last twenty years and how does it assumes that biological parents of the Tertian children’s have reared them on the basis of an interview. Moreover the article makes very strong statements without evidence while comparing observation-centered approach to interview centered approach.
The first flaw in the argument that I observe is that the writer has compared a research done twenty years ago to a research being done now. Moreover he has not even described how various aspects for rising a child have been effected in the course of time. There is a posssibility that what Dr Field observed was true and the whole village was involved in rearing the children back than and with the passage of time, as the world is inclining more towards indivisualistic ways, the tertian people might have deviated from this trend making it out dated.
Another flaw that I observed is that writer has assumed just because the children speak more about their biological parents it means they are reared by them. This assumption can only be evaluated if it is made evident that what is it the children speak about their biological parents. The children might have spoken of tales about their parents which they have heard from other villagers. Moreover, there is this this possibility that the children might have complained about their biological parents not giving them time. Thus the content of the interview given by the Tertian children should have been mentioned.
In a nutshell the writer has decribed his approach of reseach better than that of Dr Field based on assumption that lack significant support and without the satisfaction of aforementioned concerns can not be considered.
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Sentence: There is a posssibility that what Dr Field observed was true and the whole village was involved in rearing the children back than and with the passage of time, as the world is inclining more towards indivisualistic ways, the tertian people might have deviated from this trend making it out dated.
Error: tertian Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: posssibility Suggestion: possibility
Error: indivisualistic Suggestion: individualistic
Sentence: In a nutshell the writer has decribed his approach of reseach better than that of Dr Field based on assumption that lack significant support and without the satisfaction of aforementioned concerns can not be considered.
Error: reseach Suggestion: research
Error: decribed Suggestion: described
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
flaws:
No. of Words: 296 350
Need one more argument like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1488 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.027 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.711 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.672 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.616 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5