TPO-42 - Integrated Writing Task

The issue both the reading and the listening focus on is the danger of glass for birds, but the listening casts doubt at three main points.
At the first point, the reading states that using one-way glass will help birds avoid flying to the glass. Because the birds cannot see in the building. They will understand the window as a barrier. According to the listening, this category of glass is as bad as the regular glass. Since the birds will see the glass as a mirror that they do not have the ability to understand.
At the second point, the reading believes that adding colorful lines or other shapes to the window will solve the problem. People are still able to see through the hole. Birds realize these color stripe as the barrier, so they do not try to fly through the glass. On the contrary, the listening argues that birds will see the hole like an open hole, and they still try to get through this hole. If the hole is smaller, it will be too dark for people inside the building.
At the last point, the reading mentions that using electromagnets will keep birds away from the building. Because they have the ability to sense a magnetic field. However, the listening confirms that birds use magnetic sense just when they travel a long distance. When moving a short distance such as between cities, they use vision or other sensory organs to navigate, so electromagnets become useless.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Integrated TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 107, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...l help birds avoid flying to the glass. Because the birds cannot see in the building. T...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 106, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...will keep birds away from the building. Because they have the ability to sense a magnet...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, still, such as, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 10.4613686534 48% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 5.04856512141 158% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 12.0772626932 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 22.412803532 76% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 30.3222958057 86% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1155.0 1373.03311258 84% => OK
No of words: 248.0 270.72406181 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.65725806452 5.08290768461 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.96837696647 4.04702891845 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.27238760942 2.5805825403 88% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 145.348785872 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508064516129 0.540411800872 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 340.2 419.366225166 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.25165562914 399% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 2.5761589404 233% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 13.0662251656 115% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.0621618457 49.2860985944 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.0 110.228320801 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5333333333 21.698381199 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.53333333333 7.06452816374 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 4.33554083885 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 4.45695364238 179% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.483637028525 0.272083759551 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.177034529779 0.0996497079465 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854361093968 0.0662205650399 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.27208239998 0.162205337803 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137616837657 0.0443174109184 311% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 13.3589403974 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 53.8541721854 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 11.0289183223 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.45 12.2367328918 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.42419426049 85% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 63.6247240618 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.7273730684 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.2008830022 62% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.