The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art
students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order
to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are
reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate
the recommendation
The argument presented here is written by a group of Linford College Alumni to the chair of the Arts department; they state that the college should require all art students to complete an internship with a company called Skyway Designs before graduation. They propound that this company is the best in the area and that according to a survey, students who complete an internship while in college will have better chances of finding a job after graduation. The authors have good intentions which are to increase the success of graduates in finding jobs, but their argument is extremely flawed. The conclusion reached by the authors is not reasonable or reliable due to the use of questionable assumptions, vaguely defined terms and a lack of evidence to support each claim made in their arguemnt.
To begin, the group of Alumni who wrote this letter did not give information as to who they are. This information is important to know, because they are making many claims that require professional art knowledge to back it up. If the authors are all computer technology graduates, how are they supposed to know which art internships will be best for the students? additionally another question that the arguers need to answer, is what is their intention with recommending this company? Do these alumni work for Skyway Designs, and therefore want students to intern there to decrease the amount of paid staff they have? If the authors answer these questions and define who they are and what their intentions are in recommending this company, their argument will appear more sound and reliable than it currently does.
In addition to defining who the authors are, the argument needs to include more information regarding the surveys thar are used. In the first line fo the argument the authors state that there was a recent survey completed of college graduates and then states that 90% agreed that internships helped them get jobs. In order for the argument to be strong, the authors need to answer these questions: how many students were interviewed, from which schools were they from as they could be national and international, what kind of questions were asked on the survey and was the sample representative? Without such answers, the survey cannot be used successfully as proof in their argument. Additionally, when the authors state that only 40% of the graduating arts students did an internship they should state how they got that percentage. For example what if they only asked 5 out of 200 students? If so, that would again not be a valid statement to make in the argument. If the authors completed a suvey that was representative of students in the college's city and had a large enough sample size, their argument would be stronger.
In addition to the use of vague terms and invalid surveys, the authors propound that Skyway Designs offers internships in all of their departments and therefore "every student is sure to find work there." In order for this claim to be reliable, the authors need to address which departments are present in the company. For example, what if a student is a sculpting major or video game arts design? How is the reader supposed to know that every student will find an internship if there is no explanation of the departments in the company. If the authors provide this list then they can successfully state that "every student" can find an internship, although in reality, this is not very possible as there are most likely more graduate specialties than this company has in departments.
Finally, the authors contend that Skyway Designs is one of the best design businesses in the area because "over 80% in Linford city have used their services." In order for this statement to be a valid argument, the authors need to answer an array of questions including: are there other design agencies in the area? What are the prices of this business compared to those in the area? For example, what if businesses are only using Skyway Designs because they are the cheapest option or because they are the only option?
In conclusion, the authors are recommending that the Arts department makes it mandatory for students to do an internship at Skyway Designs in an attempt to help students find jobs easier after graduation. Their argument is not valid due to the use of vague terms, questionable assumptions and a profound lack of evidence. In order to have a reliable argument, the authors should conduct surveys that are representative in size and population, define terms that are vague and provide the reader with more reliable evidence about the company and the city's use of the company. Answering such questions will provide the reader with a reliable argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-27 | amberk | 55 | view |
| 2019-11-20 | ym95061305 | 63 | view |
| 2019-10-30 | Kyunghwan Kim | 59 | view |
| 2019-10-28 | Nafisa Ali Anika | 49 | view |
| 2019-10-15 | kobiniloy74 | 16 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 792 350
No. of Characters: 3831 1500
No. of Different Words: 279 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.305 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.837 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 268 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 214 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 135 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 78 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.817 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.633 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 365, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additionally
...ernships will be best for the students? additionally another question that the arguers need ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 365, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: additionally,
...ernships will be best for the students? additionally another question that the arguers need ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 107, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'surveys'' or 'survey's'?
Suggestion: surveys'; survey's
... include more information regarding the surveys thar are used. In the first line fo the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 315, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... that internships helped them get jobs. In order for the argument to be strong, th...
^^
Line 11, column 405, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: representative
...authors should conduct surveys that are representative in size and population, define terms that are v...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, regarding, so, then, therefore, while, as to, for example, in addition, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 47.0 19.6327345309 239% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 29.0 13.6137724551 213% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 63.0 28.8173652695 219% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 96.0 55.5748502994 173% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3946.0 2260.96107784 175% => OK
No of words: 792.0 441.139720559 180% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98232323232 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.30495000532 4.56307096286 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76840446776 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 301.0 204.123752495 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.380050505051 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1224.9 705.55239521 174% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.22255489022 284% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.7652529187 57.8364921388 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.068965517 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3103448276 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.10344827586 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139003269541 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0423529882814 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0433313002468 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0839795373385 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0529744700084 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 98.500998004 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.