An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the above statement, the author recommends that residents of West Meria take Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, for lowering absence days of schools and companies. While supporting the argument, however, the author largely relies on assumptions which can not be taken for granted thus without further evidence to verity unjustified assumptions, the recommendation might not been applied to West Meria.
Firstly, the author presumes that a study which implies correlation between fish consumption and less sickness is valid to accept and apply the result to West Meria. However, the cited study might not been representative of general population of East Meria. If there is sample bias (for example, gender, job and income), then validity of the study might not been warranted. For example, the respondents of cited study might have worked on the oceanside, so their fish consumption could be higher than other general population of East Meria. Furthermore, if respondents of the study have low income, because of expense of visiting to the doctor rather than fish consumption they might been unwilling to go to the doctor. Hence, further evidence pertaining to general characteristics of East Meria is necessary to evaluate the author’s claim.
Secondly, the argument rests on the conjecture that colds are the reason of most absenteeism, however it might not be the case. If actual reason of absence is different from what the absent gives, then the solution based on the response might not guaranteed to yield desired outcome. It is possible that they have no motivation to work or attend regularly which could have caused to higher the number of absences. Even if they who do not have illness take the daily use of Ichthaid, they would be health but they would continue to be absent to companies and schools. Therefore, the author should give more precise and valid survey which justify the reason of absenteesism.
Lastly, even if the cause of absence is cold, and consumption of fish could be effective to maintain health, the author depends on questionable assumption that the effectiveness of Ichthaid is same as consumption of fishes, but this might not be warranted. The Ichthaid is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, not the fish itself. What if vitamins and minerals of fishes are directly causes of being health? If fish oil is not the sole determinant of being health, then the predicted outcome that taking daily use of Ichthaid is effective to reduce the absence of West Meria might not been guaranteed.
In sum, the assertion of authors depends on several unplausible assumptions thus more relevant evidence pertaining to validity of study, cause of absence and comparability between fish and nutrient supplement should be given to strengthen the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2304 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.064 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.749 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.325 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 684, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[2]
Message: Did you mean 'have been' or 'be'?
Suggestion: have been; be
...rather than fish consumption they might been unwilling to go to the doctor. Hence, f...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, while, as for, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2371.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 455.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21098901099 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83875401062 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459340659341 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 727.2 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6884013959 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.722222222 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2777777778 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.38888888889 5.70786347227 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113343087773 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0448669592275 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0400654599157 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0614489504778 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0563083750358 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.