In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Essay topics:

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the modern-day, some parts of different cultures in this world have told their children that accomplishing comes when they try hard sufficient. In the following paragraphs, both benefits and drawbacks will be discussed in detail.
The main advantages of this cultural principle are that those youths will become a successful person faster than before, and its belief will also increase their confidence and happiness in doing a hard assignment, despite tiredness from overworking. Elon Musk is one of the prime examples in this statement since he had mentioned to the correspondent about his daily life that he works at least ten hours per day for balancing and enhancing his ability every day without anxious but full of pleasure, and therefore he had completed all of the goals that he had dreamed of doing.
On the other hand, this belief has been affecting all children these days with the negative consequences in many aspects, especially in releasing stress issue. It can be seen that many teenagers have pressured by surroundings, such as many intense competitions about education, which are genuinely difficult because of its structure of test, which is changed to be harder due to the fact that many pupils are clever to solve all the questions in the past. Moreover, many children spend their time just focusing or working, regardless of communicating with each other around them about their life in order to release their stress. Thus, those children will be struggled with their tiredness without taking care of themselves.
In conclusion, even though the advantages of the belief about working hard enough can achieve the goals of aiding children to become successful faster and confident, although they can get stressed at the same time if they do not deal with the tiredness.

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Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 533, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...leasure, and therefore he had completed all of the goals that he had dreamed of doing. O...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, at least, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 24.0651302605 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1511.0 1615.20841683 94% => OK
No of words: 294.0 315.596192385 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13945578231 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74327899048 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.608843537415 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 506.74238477 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 16.0721442886 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.2975951904 158% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.901024278 49.4020404114 166% => OK
Chars per sentence: 167.888888889 106.682146367 157% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.6666666667 20.7667163134 157% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.7777777778 7.06120827912 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222930852273 0.244688304435 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0971050610861 0.084324248473 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108713104356 0.0667982634062 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162202011027 0.151304729494 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0986637323019 0.056905535591 173% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.1 13.0946893788 146% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 50.2224549098 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 12.4159519038 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 78.4519038076 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.1190380762 146% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.