Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society especially among children Others believe that children s peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children s beh

Essay topics:

Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

Mass media is one of the mean to influnce the person watching it. The prompt suggest that their are two schools of thoughts on how children are influnced, One of the group believe that increasing violence in the media is impacting and influencing violence in society, the most impact of it is effected on children. Other group believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's activity. I fully support the prompt because of followinging given reasons.

Yes, The new generation are equiped with gadgets that were not available to one to older generation. They are fanticized about it. Phone, one of the best invention could turn into a harmful thing when it's get misused.For example, In 2002, in USA, there was a popluar debate between famous antroplogists about the gadgets used by children under age of 10, where a survey was showned suggesting that 70% of population under age 10 have their own personal phones with them. Thus, from the example it suggests that more than half the children underage posses the phone thus they can use it for immergency time aswell as they can misused it and can get influcend by the violence that is spread through this media.

Also as the axiom goes, "A diceased fruit in the group can spread its dicease to others fruits", thus suggesting that peer groups of children also influnce n the children's behaviour. Also home enviournment plays a vital role , because it will affect childrens behaviour the most, Thus parental role models are a much more influence on children's behaiour.

Some people opposing will say that children must have to control their emotions and must not get influenced by such mean, but i want to ask such people how could a child having age less then 10 could control their emotion,rather then controlling one's emotions at a yong age why can't we change their environment where they get most influence by? Thus media, children's peer group and parental role models plays a vital role on children getting influnced by them.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...on watching it. The prompt suggest that their are two schools of thoughts on how chil...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 218, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...to a harmful thing when its get misused.For example, In 2002, in USA, there was a p...
^^^
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'misuse'
Suggestion: misuse
... for immergency time aswell as they can misused it and can get influcend by the violenc...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 698, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... by the violence that is spread through this media. Also as the axiom goes, &apos...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e that is spread through this media. Also as the axiom goes, 'A diceased fru...
^^^^
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...lso influnce n the childrens behaviour. Also home enviournment plays a vital role , ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 235, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lso home enviournment plays a vital role , because it will affect childrens behavi...
^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...st not get influenced by such mean, but i want to ask such people how could a chi...
^
Line 7, column 187, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...eople how could a child having age less then 10 could control their emotion,rather t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 222, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , rather
...less then 10 could control their emotion,rather then controlling ones emotions at a yon...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 230, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...n 10 could control their emotion,rather then controlling ones emotions at a yong age...
^^^^
Line 7, column 247, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...l their emotion,rather then controlling ones emotions at a yong age why cant we chan...
^^^^
Line 7, column 279, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...rolling ones emotions at a yong age why cant we change their environment where they ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 346, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nment where they get most influence by? Thus media, childrens peer group and parenta...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, so, then, thus, well, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1712.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 347.0 442.535393258 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93371757925 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58584288626 2.79657885939 92% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.536023054755 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 513.9 704.065955056 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.2370786517 59% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 100.593654538 60.3974514979 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.666666667 118.986275619 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.9166666667 23.4991977007 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.66666666667 5.21951772744 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 7.80617977528 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.387914745291 0.243740707755 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15829718861 0.0831039109588 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.172166716697 0.0758088955206 227% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256993636288 0.150359130593 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.15110784902 0.0667264976115 226% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.1392134831 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 100.480337079 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.