In this memo, the author believes that the higher rate of on-the-job accidents at Alta Manufacturing are correlated to long work hours and sleep deprivation of workers. While the reason stated by the author may be a contributor to said accidents, we have to question whether or not the author's recommendations are viable, and we also need to discuss some critical issues, as the answers to these questions may be beneficial to the author's final decision.
To begin with, it is unclear whether the higher rate of on-the-job accidents at Alta Manufacturing was caused by lack of sleep. The vice president assumes that inadequate sleep leads to on-the-job accidents, and enough amount of sleep causes accidents at work. However, perhaps such accidents were a result of the work at Alta Manufacturing: workers at the company might involve in operations with high risks; Besides, inappropriate operations might also be a contributor to on-the-job accidents. Similarly, was the lower rate of on-the-job accidents at Panoply Industries a result of their shorter work shifts? Perhaps Panoply Industries have more experienced workers that are more aware of the potential dangers at work. Without ruling out these alternative scenarios, it is uncertain whether the higher rate of on-the-job accidents at Alta Manufacturing is correlated to inadequate sleep.
Granted that the numbers of on-the-job accidents in both companies are related to the length of shift hours, it is unclear whether Alta Manufacturing should shorten work shifts. Perhaps Alta Manufacturing mainly involves works that require long work shifts, and because of that, they have to make their employees maintain long work shifts while Panoply Industries does not need to stick to a long working hours schedule. Under this scenario, it is uncertain that Alta Manufacturing should shorten each of its work shifts by one hour to make them the same as Panoply Industries' work hours. Therefore, the author has to answer whether the types of jobs at both companies are similar. Otherwise, Panoply Industries would not necessarily be a perfect model for Alta Manufacturing.
Provided that these on-the-job accidents at Alta Manufacturing were caused by inadequate sleep and that Alta Manufacturing can shorten work shifts to decrease the rate of on-the-job accidents, assuming a link between the two events is still contestable. It is true that when workers work a shorter shift, they will have more free time; however, perhaps workers will spend the time watching television or hanging out with friends or doing chores around the house. Any of the above abilities, if true, the adjustment would not make workers have longer hours of sleep. Therefore, the author needs to investigate the activities that workers at Alta Manufacturing do after work ，and then come to a more targeted solution.
- TPO48 Integrated Writing 85
- Which do you prefer with the same rate of pay an interesting and challenging job with less vacation or a job with more vacation time but less fun 73
- Participating in organizations and clubs is as important as academic studies for students 80
- TOEFL T P O 42 Integrated Writing Task 3
- The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing During the past year Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on the job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours Exper 73
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2347 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.181 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.871 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.647 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.604 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, may, similarly, so, still, then, therefore, while, as to, it is true, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2406.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 453.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31125827815 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93735465613 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44591611479 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 745.2 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.2232310738 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.529411765 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6470588235 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.82352941176 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306277327789 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127603976504 0.0743258471296 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0699790702517 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201912697798 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0654229526509 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.