The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing
Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author proposes the company resume production of their alpaca overcoat, which they stop production due to the difficulties in getting the wool fabric. To support this recommendation, the author cites that no competitor makes alpaca overcoats, and the clothing price is higher. Undeniably, the ultimate goal of this proposal is to bring more profits to the company. But several pieces of evidence are needed to evaluate whether the advice is practical before the company takes it.
To begin with, one of the most crucial pieces of evidence needed to be provided is whether there is a demand for an alpaca overcoat in the market. The author mentions that their major competitor no longer makes alpaca overcoats, but this evidence needs to prove that customers are willing to buy one. Because competitors may have seen little demand for alpaca overcoats in the market, they stopped producing them. If the author can give evidence that alpaca overcoats are still the trend for customers, the proposal of resuming the production of alpaca overcoats is highly strengthened. Otherwise, the proposal may not be practical.
Even if customers still like alpaca overcoats, evidence that proving to sell alpaca overcoats is profitable to the company is still needed. If the price of fabric from the company's new supplier is high and the profit is low, it may not be worth it to resume production, and the recommendation is therefore weakened. However, if the author can provide evidence that the fabric price is low enough to bring profits, then the company can consider the advice.
In addition, the fact that most types of clothing prices have increased in the past five years is a weak one to support the author's claim. Five years is a relatively short period to indicate a possible trend in the future. When the company start selling alpaca overcoat, the economic situation might worsen so that price of clothing all decrease. Moreover, consumers may only accept the high cost of alpaca overcoats. Thus, the evidence indicating that the price of alpaca overcoat can be set high and taken by the marker is needed to judge the practicality of resuming production.
To sum up, the author needs to ensure those four assumptions discussed above are warranted before the company take their proposal.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1872 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.565 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.285 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...practical before the company takes it. To begin with, one of the most crucial p...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...se, the proposal may not be practical. Even if customers still like alpaca over...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the company can consider the advice. In addition, the fact that most types of...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, thus, in addition, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1921.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06860158311 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6589918402 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.480211081794 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 621.9 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7323096458 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.722222222 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0555555556 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.77777777778 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.102402086114 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0388790758933 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0400689772354 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0662899666128 0.128457276422 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0387674545292 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.