Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected.
It is true that the usage of animals for human benefit can create serious and environmental problem, whereas some people are still encouraged to protect animals rights. This is in fact happening in many cases these days, as many factories are using animals for material productions which for commercial purposes. But the other people who against this activity have to take some efforts to stop those kind of habit in terms to preserve the animal's life.
Some problems are occured in instance of animals exploitation by human which harm and threat animals existancy. The development of technology nowadays give some contributions in practicing many malfunction of animals activity around the world. Some parts of animal’s body are taken ilegally for make some clothes and accessories materials for fulfilled fashion needed. In any cases, for example, crocodiles skin are shelled out for making a kind of wallet and women’s bag which resulted in fantastic prices. On the other hand, for science purposes, animals also chosen for such of experiment in the laboratory by some companies. The inner part of animal’s body also being commercialized such as meat of animals and also milk produces.
Government have important role to limit or even prevent all those activities. They have to make some policies to prevent animals exploitation in any ways. In advance, governments have to stop the malfunction activities by educate people through media approach and seminars either to individual or organizations in aims to built the awareness of protecting the animals. It also help to preserve the existance of animals by keep them in a zoo to give a better nutrients and medical care to animals. By doing those practices, it hope can led to a surprising result for animals benefit.
Overall, in conclusion, we cannot always depend on government’s decision. To preserve animal’s existence already become our responsibility to help them to achieve their goals in aims to solve those matters.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2016-01-02 | prepareielts2016 | 60 | view |
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many factories are using animals for material productions which for commercial purposes.
many factories are using animals for material productions which are for commercial purposes.
many factories are using animals for material productions for commercial purposes.
the other people who against this activity
the other people who are against this activity
The development of technology nowadays give some contributions
The development of technology nowadays gives some contributions
Sentence: Some parts of animal's body are taken ilegally for make some clothes and accessories materials for fulfilled fashion needed.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and make
The inner part of animal’s body also being commercialized
The inner part of animal’s body is also being commercialized
Government have important role
Government has an important role
Sentence: In advance, governments have to stop the malfunction activities by educate people through media approach and seminars either to individual or organizations in aims to built the awareness of protecting the animals.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and built
Sentence: It also help to preserve the existance of animals by keep them in a zoo to give a better nutrients and medical care to animals.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to by and keep
Sentence: By doing those practices, it hope can led to a surprising result for animals benefit.
Description: The word can is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to can
Sentence: Some problems are occured in instance of animals exploitation by human which harm and threat animals existancy.
Error: occured Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: existancy Suggestion: existence
Sentence: Some parts of animal's body are taken ilegally for make some clothes and accessories materials for fulfilled fashion needed.
Error: ilegally Suggestion: legally
Sentence: It also help to preserve the existance of animals by keep them in a zoo to give a better nutrients and medical care to animals.
Error: existance Suggestion: existence
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 320 350
No. of Characters: 1633 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.103 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.793 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.788 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5