Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports while other students spend more time on their studies Which do you prefer and why | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

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Some students participate in school activities such as clubs and sports while other students spend more time on their studies. Which do you prefer and why

While attending school, students do various activities, including studying, participating in clubs and sports, and many more. Some people prefer to focus on their studies instead of joining clubs and sports teams. However, I personally prefer to engage in school activities for two reasons: new relationships and improved health.

First and foremost, I can have new relationships. To be specific, by participating in various club activities and sport events, I can naturally meet new people, broadening my social network. By making new friends, I can also call for help, overcoming my challenges. As a result, I can have an easier school life compared to others who don’t have a lot of relationships with others. For instance, when I was in 7th grade, I joined a soccer team. There, I met an 8th grader, and we had lots of things in common. We soon became friends, helping each other with our own difficulties. To name one, when I had a hard time understanding difficult concepts during science class, I quickly told my problems to him, and he taught me in detail about that topic, and I could easily understand what he said. This example shows how new relationships can lead to a successful school life.

In addition, I can improve my health while playing sports with others. In fact, not only can I improve my physical health, but I can also improve my mental health too.While I do various exercises, I can train my body to endure more, overall improving my body health. Also, I can relieve my stress while I participate in those sports, feeling relief and happiness. To illustrate, when I was in high school, I also joined a football team. To become better at it, I exercised my body, and I also ran a lot, trying to be faster. Naturally, my body became healthier and stronger. Not only that, but I also felt very excited and happy when I scored a point for my team. I believe that those experiences helped me relieve my stress due to academic, financial, and relationship problems. This experience shows that I can become healthier both physically and mentally when I engage in sport activities.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that participating in school activities are preferable as those activities can allow me to make new friends, and also improve my mental and physical health.Admittedly, some could argue that it is important for students to be focusing on academic subjects, and one can also become more independent while studying alone. Despite the aforementioned advantages, I think that doing various activities is better since the reasons mentioned above outweigh the advantages mentioned in this paragraph.

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Post date	Users	Rates	Link to Content
2023-06-21	Thomas2028	76	view

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: While
...I can also improve my mental health too.While I do various exercises, I can train my ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 189, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Admittedly
...o improve my mental and physical health.Admittedly, some could argue that it is important ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, while, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2198.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98412698413 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.995082894 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528344671202 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.353011365 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.5652173913 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1739130435 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91304347826 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194582281822 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0596848520022 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0802830661844 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179485948137 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.132466110408 0.0645574589148 205% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.