The director of Claris Care Heath center suggests that they should start a health awareness program in order to entice more patients living in Amway. He has made a baseless comparison of comparing his center to Restora health care in Masonville. His suggestions do not have any facts or valid evidences which can help him support his claim. He has done nothing but jumped to an optimistic conclusion based on an irrelevant comparison. There are many questions which are needed to be answered before implementing the director's suggestion.
Restora Health Care center started a health awareness program two years ago in Masonville. This program helped it entice more patients in Masonville area. It may be possible that the residents of Masonville became aware of a healthy lifestyle and thus decided to go for regular checkups and routine tests which will help them identify any potential diseases at an early stage. The director's assumption that starting a health awareness program would have the same effect as it did two years ago in a different city is not valid.
Also, Restora might be the only health care center in Masonville. Thus, the health awareness program helped it attract more residents. It is possible that there are many health care centers in Amway which provide better facilities and cheaper rates than Claris. Hence, starting a health awareness program will help other centers entice more residents but not Claris as residents prefer better quality of service. The director has made an irrelevant assumption of considering only the positive effects of his suggestions.
The director has made his suggestions based on a nation-wide survey. It states that many people are inclined towards health awareness programs. He has not provided any proof or evidences that support his statement. It may be possible that the survey was conducted with only a sample of population. Also, he has not mentioned the age-group of population which was surveyed. It may be possible that the survey was conducted on senior citizens.
An important point to consider here is the age-group of residents of Amway. It may be possible that residents of Amway may have a healthier lifestyle which prevents them from falling ill very often. On the other hand, Masonville might have a greater population of senior citizens who need regular health diagnosis. This scenario may have helped Restora Health care center to entice more patients after starting the health awareness program.
Hence, the conlusion to which the director of Claris Care Health center has jumped to is completely pointless. He has not provided any evidences or proofs which can support his claim.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2191 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.608 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.654 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 517, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
... to be answered before implementing the directors suggestion. Restora Health Care cen...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...implementing the directors suggestion. Restora Health Care center started a hea...
^^^
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'entices'?
Suggestion: entices
...o in Masonville. This program helped it entice more patients in Masonville area. It ma...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 382, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
...tential diseases at an early stage. The directors assumption that starting a health aware...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... ago in a different city is not valid. Also, Restora might be the only health c...
^^^
Line 5, column 112, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'attracts'?
Suggestion: attracts
... the health awareness program helped it attract more residents. It is possible that the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much health', 'a good deal of health'.
Suggestion: much health; a good deal of health
...esidents. It is possible that there are many health care centers in Amway which provide bet...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... positive effects of his suggestions. The director has made his suggestions ba...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rvey was conducted on senior citizens. An important point to consider here is t...
^^^
Line 9, column 442, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... starting the health awareness program. Hence, the conlusion to which the direct...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, so, thus, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2243.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18013856813 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66564730093 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.424942263279 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.181086301 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.2692307692 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6538461538 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.07692307692 5.70786347227 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336198472905 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107137690107 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112582581999 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196319022948 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114622066521 0.0628817314937 182% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.