Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Tha passage states that Dr. Field’s conclusion, that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by thair own biological parents, in proven to be wrong, and also that the use of the observation-centered approach to studying culture (which was used by Dr. Field on that study) is invalid. However, the author’s conclusion is rife with holes and assumptions, since there isn't enough evidence to support one’s point of view.
The passage mentions that the author’s recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that include Tertia show they spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This argument is based on the assumption that the villages on the group of islands that include Tertia all rear the children in tha same way. But couldn’t the islands have different villages, presenting a cultural variety that includes, among other aspects, the way of raising the children? Not only that is possible, but given the communication’s difficulties on islands with very limited technology, it’s likely that very different societies lived in these islands.
Moreover, even if it was true that the islands have similar societies, the athor’s point of view is based on interviews with children who talk abou their biological parents. But the fact that they are reared by the entire village doens’t necessarily prevent the children to know, love and admire their biological parents. The assumption that if a child is raised by the entire village, then he/she would not talk about the biological parents is flawed and raises questions about the validity of the author’s conclusion. What if the villagers reared all the children, but they actually lived with their biological parents? What if the children were taught about their families, their relatives, and the importance of this knowledge to the society’s culture? The author would bennefit from bringin more information regarding these interviews.
To sum up, although the author highlights a possibilitie, he/she would beneffit from bringing more information to stregnthen his/her point of view. If new evidences that support the reasoning on the passage were found, they should be pointed out, in order to avoid raising doubts in more critic readers about what is being sated.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Tha passage states that Dr. Field's conclusion, that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by thair own biological parents, in proven to be wrong, and also that the use of the observation-centered approach to studying culture which was used by Dr. Field on that study is invalid.
Error: thair Suggestion: chair
Sentence: This argument is based on the assumption that the villages on the group of islands that include Tertia all rear the children in tha same way.
Error: tha Suggestion: than
Sentence: Moreover, even if it was true that the islands have similar societies, the athor's point of view is based on interviews with children who talk abou their biological parents.
Error: abou Suggestion: about
Sentence: The author would bennefit from bringin more information regarding these interviews.
Error: bringin Suggestion: bringing
Error: bennefit Suggestion: benefit
Sentence: To sum up, although the author highlights a possibilitie, he/she would beneffit from bringing more information to stregnthen his/her point of view.
Error: possibilitie Suggestion: possibilities
Error: beneffit Suggestion: benefit
Error: stregnthen Suggestion: strengthen
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flaws:
The arguments are not exactly correct. see the correct arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-10-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1899 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.024 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.532 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 398, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...with holes and assumptions, since there isnt enough evidence to support one's p...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, then, talking about, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2000.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 372.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37634408602 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96472594918 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.516129032258 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 598.5 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.3585976903 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.857142857 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5714285714 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35714285714 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298439332612 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107671168882 0.0743258471296 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698361215822 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175143959302 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101966860515 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.