An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The passage states that the government in Tagus should take actions in order to promote a new kind of millet that is high in vitamin A. It might seem logical to agree with the author's position that this would help to decrease the number of people in Tagus with deficiency in this vitamin, the presented reasoning is based on fragile assumptions and questionable arguments. More information is needed in order to understand the best way of responding to the vitamin a problem in Tagus.
First of all, it is important to analyze the author's unsound assumption that paying subsides to the farmers, in order to compensate for the high cost of the seed, will be enough to put the new product in the market with competitive prices. This issue request complex and precise panning, because it's very possible that the farmers receive this subsides, but do not use that to lower the seeds prices, counting that people will pay more for these seeds precisely because of it's benefits. Therefore, this action requires a lot of other solutions to the problems it might cause.
Moreover, the passage presents the dubious claim that, since people in Tagus already consume millet with frequency, they will readly adopt this new variety of the seed. But that depends a lot on one single key factor that is not presented in the statement: wether the new millet tastes differently or not than the original one. The taste is one of the most important factors people take into consideration when deciding what to eat. If people find the new seed to be tasteless, for example, they will not substitute the original one for the new millet. That would mine the entire reasoning presented on the passage.
To top it all, the author fails to mention which actions from the government should be taken in order to promote the improved millet. Like the afforementioned farming subsides issues, many problems could take place in this governamental actions. Whenever the government acts, public money is spent, and there is always the possibility of corruption, specially in the fields not usually affected by governamental actions. If the Tagus mayor is not considered thrustworthy by the city's people, they may not approve their money to be spent in other ways, unecessary to the basic public budget.
In other words, while it is not ilogical to expect that if the Tagus government takes actions that promote the vitamin A rich millet, the deficiency of this vitamin among people there will be likely to decrease, more information regarding this issue is necessary in order to convince more critic eyes. The author fails to present sufficient information that would persuade more skeptic readers.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Moreover, the passage presents the dubious claim that, since people in Tagus already consume millet with frequency, they will readly adopt this new variety of the seed.
Error: readly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: But that depends a lot on one single key factor that is not presented in the statement: wether the new millet tastes differently or not than the original one.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Like the afforementioned farming subsides issues, many problems could take place in this governamental actions.
Error: governamental Suggestion: governmental
Error: afforementioned Suggestion: aforementioned
Sentence: Whenever the government acts, public money is spent, and there is always the possibility of corruption, specially in the fields not usually affected by governamental actions.
Error: governamental Suggestion: governmental
Sentence: If the Tagus mayor is not considered thrustworthy by the city's people, they may not approve their money to be spent in other ways, unecessary to the basic public budget.
Error: unecessary Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: thrustworthy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In other words, while it is not ilogical to expect that if the Tagus government takes actions that promote the vitamin A rich millet, the deficiency of this vitamin among people there will be likely to decrease, more information regarding this issue is necessary in order to convince more critic eyes.
Error: ilogical Suggestion: logical
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly. to argue this:
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
we may say that:
maybe there are better solutions.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2180 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.866 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.563 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.431 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, while, for example, kind of, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2223.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 448.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96205357143 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62185394412 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488839285714 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 697.5 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.0321069983 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.764705882 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3529411765 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70588235294 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.368314272375 0.218282227539 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108721759309 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0960169662098 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202392408244 0.128457276422 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0742582345694 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.