In 2010, the Elmrose Corporation housed all of its operations and employees in one office. Since then, the company has expanded to multiple locations and has seen profits decline steadily each year. Clearly, if Elmrose wants to boost profits, it should relocate all of its operations and employees to one office.
Write a response in which you discuss the evidence that would be necessary to establish the argument’s validity. Make sure to explain how that evidence would strengthen or weaken the argument.
The author argued that since Elmrose Corporation expanded to multiple locations but has faced declining profits, Elmrose Corporation should centralize all of its operations and employees in one building. This spurious argument is flawed because it has not provided sufficient evidence to justify the claim. More evidences, such as data of past revenues of the company, the location of the new offices, and the services provided, are required to validate the claim.
The author mentioned that Elmrose Corporation placed all of its operations and employees in one office in 2010. When it did not do so the next year, profits started to fall and they continued to fall as time went by. However, the author has not provided more context and Elmrose might have been facing lowering profits well before 2010. Perhaps it tried the novel approach of housing everything in one office in an effort to reduce costs, but discovered that the efforts were futile, so it stopped the next year. The author should provide more statistics, such as the cost saved by centralizing all operations. The author should particularly provide the profits made in 2010 and compare them with those in other yeras to justify the suggestion that operations should be centralized to increase profits.
In addition, the author indicated that Elmrose Corporation expanded to multiple locations but has seen lower profits. One possible explanation might have actually been the selection of the locations. Perhaps Elmrose Corporation was an ice cream chain, but it focused on expanding its franchise in Finland and Norway, where the temperature is always cold and people rarely eat ice cream. If it had selected new locations carefully and picked locations in countries with hot and humid climates, such as Malaysia and Indonesia, it might have generated a tremendous revenue. The author should provide the locations of Elmrose Corporation to prove that a causal relatioship existed between the expansion of Elmrose Corporation and the lower profits, namely the expansion was the cause of the lower profits, not the locations themselves.
The profits of Elmrose Corporation are affected by diverse factors, including the service provided by Elmrose Corporation. Suppose that Elmrose Corporation sold sell ice cream, it would be foolish to assume that housing all of its operations and employees would increase profits. Elmrose Corporation should in fact do the opposite and expand as much as possible to broaden its reach and improve its reputation in the market. The author should provide more information regarding the service provided by Elmrose Corporation. If Elmrose Corporation is a firm that offers services that can be provided remotely, such as translation services, then demanding Elmrose Corporation to centralize its operations instead of engaging in a meaningless expansion would be more reasonable.
In conclusion, the author mentioned that Elmrose Corporation experienced lower profits since it stopped centralizing its operations and employees and started to expand. However, it has not provided more evidence to justify this claim, such as whether profits have already been reducing long before 2010, whether Elmrose Corporation has simply been making poor investment decisions regarding its expansion, and whether Elmrose Corporation is even suitable for a centralized management of operations and personnel. The author should offer more evidence to make his or her claim more cogent.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-09 | Mateo Chen | 78 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2876 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.326 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 241 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 197 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 126 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 85 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 833, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... profits, not the locations themselves. The profits of Elmrose Corporation are a...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 590, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e to make his or her claim more cogent.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, however, if, regarding, so, then, well, as to, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 11.1786427146 215% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 31.0 16.3942115768 189% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2942.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 540.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44814814815 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84119219939 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433333333333 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 931.5 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.4407601619 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.727272727 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5454545455 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.81818181818 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.40950704739 0.218282227539 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.141181598828 0.0743258471296 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108963377745 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256673489115 0.128457276422 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0317020292432 0.0628817314937 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.63 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.