The commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society: incomes are rising; most employees now receive more vacation time; and interest in travel is rising, as shown by an increase in media attention devoted to foreign cultures and tourist attractions.
The author argued that a higher income, more vacation time, and a rising interest in travel will contribute to the continual growth of the commercial airline industry in Freedonia. However, the arguments of the author implied that people will spend their extra salary on travel and people will choose to travel by air during their vacation time. Unless these assumptions are addressed, the assertations of the author are fundamentally flawed.
The author assumed that people with more money will spend it on travel, particularly air travel. In reality, people could be using their money for all sorts of purposes. Struggling families that are trying to make ends meet are more likely to use the extra income to buy food and necessities than needlessly wasting it on air travel. The author must prove that people will spend their extra income on air travel before the author’s argument becomes valid.
The author believed that employees with more vacation time will benefit the commercial airline industry of Freedonia. However, this claim is irrational because the author is hinting that people will spend their extra vacation time on air travel. In reality, people spend their time on different types of leisure activities. For example, thrifty shoppers might spend their holidays by visiting department stores and scouting for bargains. These people are likely to spend their extra time wandering in shops than flying in cramped seats. The author must provide evidence demonstrating that people spend their extra vacation time on air travel to argue that more vacation time will benefit the commercial airline industry in Freedonia.
Although the author stated that a rising interest in travel will benefit the commercial airline industry of Freedonia, the author does not specify the form of transportation in Freedonia. Suppose, for example, that Freedonia is a landlocked country with convenient railway systems. Travelers might choose to enjoy a trip on the rail instead of flying in a plane. Travelers with budget restraints could also opt for the cheaper option and drive instead of fly. If the author could demonstrate that people prefer air travel over other forms of transportation, the author can logically claim that more travelers and a higher interest in travel will benefit the airline industry.
In conclusion, the author has listed three factors, namely a higher income, more vacation time, and a rising interest in travel, and claimed that they are related to the growth of the commercial airline industry; however, the author has not proved that these factors are related to a higher demand for air travel. Although the people of Freedonia are receiving a higher salary and more vacation time and they are having a higher interest in travel, neither of these factors signify that people will have a higher demand for air travel. The author must provide evidence that reveal the correlation between the three factors and the demand for air travel to reinforce the argument that these factors contribute to the future growth of the commerical airline industry in Freedonia.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-05-25 | Mateo Chen | 70 | view |
| 2020-04-17 | Joshua Olowolaju | 73 | view |
| 2020-02-06 | Dumebi | 68 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2548 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.116 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.461 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 219 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.566 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.402 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, so, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2606.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 498.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23293172691 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54640010238 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.361445783133 0.468620217663 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 807.3 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.0444179881 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.095238095 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7142857143 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.57142857143 5.70786347227 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160655782519 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0728243795979 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852122673941 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118404402184 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.046064477566 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.