8. The CoffeeCart beverage and food service located in the lobby of our main office building is not earning enough in sales to cover its costs, and so the cart may discontinue operating at GBS. Given the low staff morale, as evidenced by the increase in the number of employees leaving the company, the loss of this service could present a problem, especially since the staff morale questionnaire showed widespread dissatisfaction with the snack machines.
Therefore, supervisors should remind the employees in their group to patronize the cart—after all, it was leased for their convenience so that they would not have to walk over to the cafeteria on breaks.
The author’s argument about the loss of incurred by coffee cart beverage and food services due to low staff morale is flawed. The author doesn’t mention any statistical information about the number of employees working at GBS and also uses ambiguous words in the argument like sales, cost, etc. to make a strong conclusion. The author also mentions the increase in employees leaving the company as a cause which resulted in the loss of cart whereas the poor quality of food supplied by the cart can be the cause of losses incurred by the cart.
Firstly, The author doesn’t mention any statistical information regarding the employees present in or around the premises of lobby of main office building or about the employees residing near to the cafeteria of the GBS.
Secondly, The employees leaving GBS may have resulted due to internal conflicts between employees, increase in demand for employees in market etc., may lead to resignations. These resignation from the employees, decrease in clients for GBS etc. affects the losses incurred by the cart due to cost of hire, rental and service bills imposed on the cart.
Further, as mentioned in the argument the morale questionnaire submitted by the staff is not discussed thoroughly by the author. The questionnaire presented to the employee may be a wide spread topics discussed. From the response of questionnaire about the dissatisfaction with the snacks machine may have depended on the speed of service or maintenance of machines provided by the cart. As the argument doesn’t provide any evidence about the delays caused by machines or repeated maintenance machines concluding machine’s performance as poor is inappropriate
As the author fails to address the above items , the argument is not strong or persuasive. To strengthen the argument the author must increase the statistical information presented in the argument and suggest various options available for the supervisors to increase the profits of the carts.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1626 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.065 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.869 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.822 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.686 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...cost, etc. to make a strong conclusion. The author also mentions the increase in em...
^^^
Line 5, column 175, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this resignation' or 'These resignations'?
Suggestion: This resignation; These resignations
... market etc., may lead to resignations. These resignation from the employees, decrease in client...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 221, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...resignation from the employees, decrease in clients for GBS etc. affects the loss...
^^
Line 9, column 47, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... author fails to address the above items , the argument is not strong or persuasiv...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 13.6137724551 7% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 1.0 28.8173652695 3% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1691.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 318.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31761006289 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03296031655 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468553459119 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.0939463226 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.076923077 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4615384615 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61538461538 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146311186087 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0575038484776 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424341302878 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0837890256819 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.03736695149 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.