"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for e

Essay topics:

"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The budget planning committee of city Calatrava recommends that the city should reduce the funds budgeted for education for the next decade given that the city birthrate is declining. Further, the committee argues that they could use the money saved on education to fund city facilities and program which are used primarily by adults.

The plan appears sound on the surface but a close look at the arguments offered reveal that the arguments rests weakly on several assumptions. Moreover, the arguments reasoning is fallacious as well. The rest of the essay details some of the defects in the committee's arguments.

The committee's claim that the city birthrate is declining is based on only last year data. It is mentioned that, "last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago". This data fails to convey a trend in the birthrate. There could be several reasons for the decline in last year's birthrate. Perhaps, there was some disease which prevented made people to planning a child. Maybe there was an economic downturn which lead the residents to not have a child in that year for financial reasons. We don't know.

We need to have a data of at least a couple of years to reasonably ascertain if the decline in birthrate is really a trend or it's just one kink in the data. The author assumes that a declining birthrate would result in lower enrollment in public schools. However, the author doesn't offer any evidence which can support this assumptions. What if the city has high influx of immigrants who are settling for job prospects? They might already have kids which they would want to send to the schools and thus the enrollment may not decline at all. Also, even if for argument's sake we take that the enrollment will decline, we still don't have a convincing reason to reduce the funds budgeted for education. Maybe the funds are utilized in maintaining the school buildings, which has not correlation with the number of students enrolled. Therefore we require knowledge about other sources which can keep the enrollment of students in school same or increase, even though the city's birth rate is declining. If it is found that there other sources of students which can keep the enrollment as it as for example, students from different city attending the school in the city of Calatraava, then the argument would be invalid.

Finally, the committee assumes that adult population will increase and thus they should devote more funds to city facilites and programs. Again, the author provide no evidence to convince us that this will hold true. Perhaps, the city is good only of high school education and there no prospects of jobs. In that case, adults might prefer to move to another city or country for better career prospects, then the assumption would not hold true and the argument would be unwarranted.

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Average: 4.9 (3 votes)
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Essays by user plant2311 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 230, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... as well. The rest of the essay details some of the defects in the committees arguments. T...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 124, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
... data. It is mentioned that, 'last years birthrate was only one-half that of fiv...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 295, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...several reasons for the decline in last years birthrate. Perhaps, there was some dise...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 349, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e. Perhaps, there was some disease which prevented made people to planning a chil...
^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... in that year for financial reasons. We dont know. We need to have a data of at le...
^^^^
Line 4, column 276, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... in public schools. However, the author doesnt offer any evidence which can support th...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 320, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...nt offer any evidence which can support this assumptions. What if the city has high ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 627, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...t the enrollment will decline, we still dont have a convincing reason to reduce the ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 831, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...n with the number of students enrolled. Therefore we require knowledge about other source...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 987, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ase, even though the citys birth rate is declining. If it is found that there oth...
^^
Line 4, column 1153, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...from different city attending the school in the city of Calatraava, then the argu...
^^
Line 5, column 319, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...here no prospects of jobs. In that case, adults might prefer to move to another c...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, look, may, moreover, really, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, as for, at least, for example

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2365.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 481.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91683991684 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5537068955 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480249480249 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 721.8 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.2465871783 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.6 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.24 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.24 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.339084903608 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0894404732414 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0940283278835 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163638675339 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112858374714 0.0628817314937 179% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 484 350
No. of Characters: 2309 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.69 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.47 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.173 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.44 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5