the citizen of the forsythe have adopted healthier lifestyles. Their responses to the recent survey show than in their habits they conform more to government nutritional recommendations that did ten years ago, Furthermore, there has been a forfold increase in sales of the food products containing kiran, a substance that scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.
In this argument the author states that the inhabitant of the Forsythe have more healthier life than before because of the edibles, increase in sales of the products that contain kiran, and the reduce in the sales of the foods that is less healthier. However, I find found the argument unconvincing on several aspects. The reasons to substantiated my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder.
The chief flew of the argument is that the author believe that the Forsythe habitat are the same person who lived ten years ago. As the reading past state that “ the increase of the healthier lifestyle.” Maybe now more older people have been live in the Forsythe. For instance, in my city, most of the people who have asthma in lives in an area where have better air, fewer car were used there and most of the drugstores sales drugs related to the bronchitis. Is this means that the people in that area take more care to their health. Indeed, I don’t think so.
Secondly, Maybe the store that sales the products which contain kiran maybe is a famous. Therefore, more people from the different part of the city went there to buy their needs. For example, A big shop of Shirin asal had been open in our neighbor. It has very delicious cookies and stuffs and all the people are going to here to buy their needs. However, we are just going there when I have any important party in our house. I think that higher sale in any kind of product can’t be inferred in the meaning of the lifestyle in the people of that area. As we can see in the example that I mention in this part to support, Higher rate of the sales of products that is high in sugar can’t be inferred people in that region have unhealthier food. It may depend on opening of the famous company store on the area that is studied.
Admittedly, if the story which is sold the unhealthier products based on the authors mind, may be didn’t have the quality of the products of ten years age or another company which sell the same products with fewer cost or better quality maybe open nearby. For example, Anata manager , another famous company which render delicious cookies,saw that the Shirin asl profit in that area, so they open a shop to sell their products in my city. Now the sales of the Shirin asl have been declined because some of the people love Anata’s cookies. However, in not means that fewer people eat cookies.
In sum, to strengthen the statement the author must provide evidence that people all other variables in the area didn’t change during the years that author mention such as the age of the people who live in the are, the price of the products that are sold in the area, the quality of the products that are sold more then other.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2159 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.379 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.143 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.24 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 77, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...hat the inhabitant of the Forsythe have more healthier life than before because of the edibles...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...of the products that contain kiran, and the reduce in the sales of the foods that is less ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 236, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less healthy'?
Suggestion: less healthy
...educe in the sales of the foods that is less healthier. However, I find found the argument unc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 393, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...iewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder. The chief flew of the argument is that t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'older' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: older
...he healthier lifestyle.' Maybe now more older people have been live in the Forsythe. ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...e products which contain kiran maybe is a famous. Therefore, more people from the differ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...open nearby. For example, Anata manager , another famous company which render del...
^^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , saw
...s company which render delicious cookies,saw that the Shirin asl profit in that area...
^^^^
Line 5, column 505, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...e Shirin asl have been declined because some of the people love Anata's cookies. Howev...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 321, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...lity of the products that are sold more then other.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 31.0 13.6137724551 228% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2258.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60816326531 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37778100011 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436734693878 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.9 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.7291670707 57.8364921388 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.523809524 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3333333333 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.19047619048 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122482232629 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0403250789464 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0380485877774 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0753182859651 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0360599990971 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.