"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo, the new vice president of Sartorian avers that the company’s decision on resuming the alpaca overcoat production will lead to the increase of the company profits. Although the argument may seem convincing at first, the lack of evidences leads readers to conclude that the argument is flawed on many grounds.
To begin with, the author needs to provide solid evidence that the alpaca coat that the company decided to resume to produce will have high demands. On the contrary to the author’s rosy expectation, it is not that the lack of supply always leads to the increase of demand. For example, it is plausible that people will now deem an alpaca coat as outmoded, and consequently that the demand on the coat is not significant. Furthermore, it is also possible that the supply of an alpaca coat has not ever been diminished. the customers have possibly been able to buy the coat through the internet from other clothing manufactures. Thus, the author needs to elaborate on his argument on the expected increase of the demand for the coat.
Furthermore, more cogent pieces of evidence are needed on whether the customers will willingly pay higher prices than they disbursed five years ago. In general, it is more likely that the increase of price of a product makes the customers reluctant to pay for it, and consequently reduces the demand on the product. Therefore, it is entirely possible that the current customers will tend to buy the coat less than they did five years ago. Therefore, the author needs to provide more grounds on the averred willingness of customers on paying for the coats.
Last but not least, the author needs to supplement the argument with more concrete evidence on whether the increased price of the coat necessarily engenders the increase of the profit. It is likely that the increased price of clothing is accompanied by the increase of the production expense for clothing. If the difference between the increased cost overrides the increase of the clothing price, the company will make decreased profit. In other words, without any further elaborated argument, it is illogical to conclude that the increased price will result in the increase of the company profit.
In conclusion, the argument in the memo is unpersuasive on many grounds. In order to bolster the argument, the author needs to provide more solid evidence on the prospected increase of the demands on the coat, of the willingness of customers on paying for the coats, and of the company profits.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2041 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.836 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.591 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.205 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.629 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 518, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...paca coat has not ever been diminished. the customers have possibly been able to bu...
^^^
Line 5, column 73, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e memo is unpersuasive on many grounds. In order to bolster the argument, the auth...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, may, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, in general, in other words, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2094.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96208530806 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69121711056 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.409952606635 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 660.6 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.627470719 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 116.333333333 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4444444444 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.94444444444 5.70786347227 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0871184878696 0.218282227539 40% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0361354243638 0.0743258471296 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0306706211504 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0545390319238 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0340887385592 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.