The following appeared in a health magazine. "The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
The author of the article published in a health magazine concludes that the citizens of Forsythe have embraced a healthier lifestyle by citing survey results regarding their eating habits and the apparent multifold increase in the sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that markedly reduces cholesterol levels and decrease in sales of a food product called sulia which is consumed by few of healthiest citizens. However, the author supports his argument with three assumptions that if not substantiated, dramatically weakens the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the author contends that in a recently conducted survey, eating habits of most responders followed the government nutritional guidelines, than they did ten years ago. But the author fails to produce evidence that the people who responded to a similar survey ten years ago are the same people who have answered this recently conducted survey. Since the survey does not provide information about the number of people surveyed, perhaps, only healthy citizens took part in it. Additionally, It is possible that ten years ago, Forsythe had a much larger population of older people and a smaller segment of health conscious young generation that skewed the survey results. If either of these scenarios is true then the author’s presumption that the recent survey supports his claim of citizens adopting healthier lifestyles, does not hold water. If the author provides proof that the people who were surveyed ten years ago are the same people surveyed recently, that the sample of recent survey includes citizens of all age groups and health conditions, and if the survey conducted ten years ago indeed comprised of a sample with equal older and younger population, only then can author’s contention be considered valid.
Secondly, the author assumes that the quadrupled sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that is proven to reduce cholesterol, supports his claim of people taking healthy food decisions. However, this may not be the case. Perhaps, Forsythe is the only town that has had a greater yield of kiran than neighboring towns and hence is supplying kiran in large quantities out of town, thus increasing sales in Forsythe. It is also possible that the town’s citizens have shown a propensity towards consuming more junk food that contains traces of kiran in it. This would explain the much increased sales of kiran. Moreover, the author has provided no evidence that the citizens who responded to the survey are the same people making healthier food choices by buying products having high quantities of kiran. If either of these cases is in accordance with reality, the author’s assumption that citizens are adopting healthier lifestyle by including food products having kiran, is dubious at best and specious at worst.
Finally, the author’s claim that the reduced sales of sulia indicate that citizens have embraced healthier lifestyles might not be true at all. According to the author, sulia is food product which was eaten by few of the healthiest citizens of Forsythe. If sulia was consumed by healthy people to maintain their vitality, then the reduction in sales of sulia suggest that people are now moving towards an unhealthy lifestyle, thus contradicting the author’s claim. It is likely that the quality of sulia sold has taken a recent nosedive and that’s why people are not buying it anymore. Perhaps healthy people were consuming sulia for its health benefits but stopped buying it since it had an unappealing taste and could take no more of it. If any of these scenarios are true, then the author’s claim is unwarranted and lacks substantial evidence.
In conclusion, it is possible that citizens of Forsythe are having high cholesterol levels and to control it, they are buying food products having high quantities of kiran. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unsubstantiated claims that render its conclusion highly unpersuasive. Thus, the author needs to provide additional evidence regarding accuracy of survey, specific reason for the increase in sales of food products consisting of kiran, and reasoning behind decreased sales of sulia.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the healthiest'.
Suggestion: of the healthiest
...t called sulia which is consumed by few of healthiest citizens. However, the author supports ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 30.0 13.6137724551 220% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3549.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 673.0 441.139720559 153% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27340267459 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.09335287823 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73903459574 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 204.123752495 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424962852897 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1078.2 705.55239521 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.4134225853 57.8364921388 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.875 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0416666667 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58333333333 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195942137365 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0578985519011 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561461588619 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111439094326 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418102178649 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 159.0 98.500998004 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 404, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the healthiest'.
Suggestion: of the healthiest
...t called sulia which is consumed by few of healthiest citizens. However, the author supports ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 30.0 13.6137724551 220% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3549.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 673.0 441.139720559 153% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27340267459 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.09335287823 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73903459574 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 204.123752495 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424962852897 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1078.2 705.55239521 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.4134225853 57.8364921388 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.875 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0416666667 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58333333333 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195942137365 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0578985519011 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561461588619 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111439094326 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418102178649 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 14.3799401198 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 159.0 98.500998004 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.