The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the health magazine, the author claims that the residents of Forsythe are living a healthier lifestyle than before. He has mentioned about a survey that shows people are consuming foods more closely to the government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago, in order to support his claim. He has also presented a fact about the increasing sales of food products containing kiran as well as the decreasing sales of sulia. However, his assumptions based on these facts are dubious and require further study and evidence.
First of all, there is no iota of information about the type of survey conducted. For instance, they might have surveyed random 20 people in the street and drawn the conclusion. Also, how do they know that the survey was trust worthy? Do people really remember their eating habits 10 years ago? There is a possibility that people might have not responded truly to the questions or probably the questionnaire was not appropriate enough to conclude about the lifestyle of people.
Secondly, the author assumes that the reason behind the increase in sales of kiran is its health benefit. However, the reason may be its taste. Besides taste, the increase in population may also be the reason for increasing sales of kiran and the average amount of kiran a person consumes might be almost constant. Thus, the author should also show the growth rate of Forsythe to evaluate whether people really consume more kiran than before. Likewise, the decrease in sales of sulia and only a few healthy people eating it also might be due to its taste rather than it being unhealthy.
Most importantly, does healthy lifestyle only mean healthy eating habits? What about the other aspects such as physical health, mental health and so on which are equally important to determine the health of a person? The author failed to conduct requisite research on all these aspects. To have a better understanding about the lifestyle of the people, the author must focus on all the aspects that affects them and not only the eating habits.
The argument is overall contentious. The author should not simply assume that the residents of Forsythe have adopted a healthful lifestyle. Further study need to be done and necessary evidences must be provided to bolster the argument. More details regarding the survey will be helpful. In addition to this, data about the growth rate of Forsythe and the actual consumption of kiran per people should be mentioned. Author should also investigate properly about the actual reason for the decrease in sales of sulia. He also should conduct a research on other aspects of healthy lifestyle.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.898 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.495 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.414 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...the have adopted a healthful lifestyle. Further study need to be done and necessary evi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 538, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
... sales of sulia. He also should conduct a research on other aspects of healthy lifestyle. ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, however, if, likewise, may, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, in addition, such as, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2205.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 440.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01136363636 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57564783634 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477272727273 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 690.3 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6530186505 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.2 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224732084489 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0619488701602 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0639927600112 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127249797544 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461928835924 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.48 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.