The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of the students housing claims that the college should increase the in-campus accommodation, as there is an expectation that the number of students admitted to the Buckingham College will increase in coming years and over flow the existing dormitory space. However, the Directors plan is weak due to the following reasons three reasons and does not hold water until substantiated with additional information.
Firstly, the Director assumes that all the students who will be enrolling in the coming years are outsiders and do not have a house in the town where the college resides. It may be so that the students who are will be seeking admission in coming years are locals, and have their owns house and need not have to look for accommodation in campus. Furthermore, the students who are willing to seek admission in Buckingham from outside of the town may also own the house near-by college premises. If, the aforementioned cases are true, then the Directs plan will go in futile.
Secondly, the prompt says that the owners levy exorbitant rent to the customers and therefore the students will opt for dormitories instead. However, what if the students still prefer to live in the apartments despite the heavy rental prices. It might be that the students are from aristocratic family and prefer to live in isolation and have their own privacy instead of living in the dorms where they get least such facilities and are frequently interrupted by other students. Despite, they try to maintain strict discipline in dorms, there could be some students who still violate the rules and try intervene in their neighbor student’ matters. In such cases, it is expected that the students who can afford the high rents will prefer living in apartments, rather than living in dorms.
Finally, Director says that new dorms works as advertisement to attract new students for admissions. However, the main reason a student enroll in a college is not by looking at the dorms but by the quality of education. As time pass by, it may so happen that there will be new private dorms coming up in the neighborhood, which are affordable by any students, and the Buckingham dorms are then left unoccupied. By considering these cases, the argument that the new dorms will attract high-class students is weakened.
In conclusion, the Director should conduct the survey of the students currently admitted and of the students while enrolling and record their preferences. The college should also furnish information about the apartment available in town as to what facilities they provide and what they do not, and try including those additional facilities which the apartment doesn’t give. This above information is needed to make the argument more robust in its stands.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2258 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.93 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.647 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.513 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 203, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...resides. It may be so that the students who are will be seeking admission in coming yea...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, while, as to, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2323.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08315098468 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7441168534 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472647702407 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.226078428 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.055555556 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3888888889 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.11111111111 5.70786347227 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312423729171 0.218282227539 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102875625136 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852954644612 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.18053871981 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0630143576801 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.