The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their store saw sales increase by 15 percent. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that placing ads in the Exotic Pets Monthly magazine would reverse Top Dog Pet Stores' sales decline is flawed. Just because Fish Emporium had increase in sales when they started advertising in the magazine five years ago does not mean Top Dog Pet Stores will also realise such increase in sales now. The lack of concrete basis for the argument renders the conclusion invalid.
More signifiicantly, the argument is founded on the assumption that the economic situation in Gulf City is the same as five years ago. For one, no evidence was given as to the financial capabilities of the citizen in the city from five years ago compared with today. Had the argument demonstrated that the people are capable of procuring the stores' product as they were before, then, Top Dog Pet Stores chances of reversing their sales decline may be feasible.
Furthermore, the argument never describes the veracity of the magazine's influence on the city. Although Fish Emporium's increase in sales is purported to be due to the venture into advertising yet it may just be that Exotic Pets Monthly's highly revered status among the residents was responsible for that. Even if the residents chose Fish Emporium for their satisfaction with their products, such is not guaranteed to repeat for Top Dog Pet Stores as well. Nevertheless, while the argument claims that Fish Emporium ads was the cause of their increased sales it neglects the fact that the magazine's credibility may have been the deciding factor.
The argument leaves several other questions unanswered. Are the stores even producing similar products? Despite stating how the adoption of another stores' sales strategy may benefit Top Dog Pet Stores the argument omits the connection between Fish Emporium's sales increase to their finances. Does the 15 percent increase meet their sales need? It could be possible that they were already running at a loss and the increase would not mean much if does not cover their cost enough to break even and start making profit. Nonetheless, the argument claims without warrant that advertising in the magazine would lead to increase in sales and in turn increase in profit.
Therefore, the conclusion of the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores is illogical. Due to the absence of conclusive proof, the argument fails to make a convincing case that placing ads in the Exotic Pets Monthly magazine would reverse Top Dog Pet Stores' sales decline and lead to profit. Ultimately, the argument would have been compelling if the marketing director had showed the similarities in economic situations, products, or citizen preferences of Fish Emporium from five years ago to Top Dog Pet Stores today.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 2211 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.991 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.57 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.804 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.375 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 4, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The argument that placing ads in the Exotic ...
^^
Line 2, column 342, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...the people are capable of procuring the stores product as they were before, then, Top ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'magazines'' or 'magazine's'?
Suggestion: magazines'; magazine's
...sed sales it neglects the fact that the magazines credibility may have been the deciding ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, may, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, then, therefore, well, while, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2246.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06997742664 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61951603627 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437923250564 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.0 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.5492455698 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.210526316 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3157894737 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94736842105 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.473413349938 0.218282227539 217% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.162136984609 0.0743258471296 218% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107876884564 0.0701772020484 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.308195161939 0.128457276422 240% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0735076761833 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.