The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memoranda, the owner of a chain of cheese stores concludes that his store should mainly focus on selling domestic cheeses in order to boost profit as they require less storage. The author lands on this conclusion based on a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine and a few assumptions. His intentions might prove valid and implementing it may turn out profitable, however, as it stands now, the credibility of his argument is hampered without providing shreds of evidence on the following three unwarranted assumptions.
Firstly, the author without evidence assumes that the preference of the customers that have brought from their newest outlet match with the customers of all other shops. But perhaps, this may not be the case. The other outlets may have customers who may want imported cheeses. Maybe some of the other stores are located in famous tourist spots where the customers are more inclined to buy imported cheeses for their likings. In addition, it can also be true that the new outlet has a relatively small percentage of sales compared to sales made by the chain store as a whole and maybe it is located in a very small town with not a lot of people residing. And so, maybe the sale is not significant enough to be considered important to make changes in the store’s goods being sold. If any of these scenarios are found true, then the author will fail to make a persuasive argument.
Moreover, the author assumes that the trend indicated by the survey of the Cheeses of the World magazine will persist. However, this may not be the case. It may be a case that a certain type of food has recently gained popularity which uses a certain domestic cheese and it may not be as popular after a while. Also, it can also be the case that in the same manner imported cheese will rise in popularity and people then would be more inclined to buy imported cheeses. As the tastes of people change with time, it can very well be true that people in the future may be interested in imported cheeses. if the validity of these speculations were found true then the argument put up by the owner will not hold water.
Finally, the author without any viable evidence assumes that imported cheese takes significantly more inventory space rather than domestic ones. But perhaps this assumption is fallacious. Maybe there can be a decline in cheese consumption and the shops may have to store their cheeses for a time, then regardless whether they are domestic or imported, they will hold inventory spaces. Also, it can also be the case that there may be low demand in domestic cheeses and they will have to be spaced in the inventory. And even if, say, there is a high demand for domestic cheeses, the shops would have to store them somewhere temporarily to tackle the high demand since selling cheese is an instantaneous service. So, if any of the above occurrences are true, then that would diminish the validity of the author’s argument.
In conclusion, although maybe the author is trying to make a right call, he fails to make a cogent and persuasive case without justifying the above mentioned three unwarranted assumptions. If he wants to do a good business then these assumptions must be addressed properly.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 560 350
No. of Characters: 2606 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.865 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.654 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.508 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.348 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.809 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.87 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...rs who may want imported cheeses. Maybe some of the other stores are located in famous tour...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ake a persuasive argument. Moreover, the author assumes that the trend indica...
^^
Line 5, column 604, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... may be interested in imported cheeses. if the validity of these speculations were...
^^
Line 5, column 604, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... may be interested in imported cheeses. if the validity of these speculations were...
^^
Line 9, column 191, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...entioned three unwarranted assumptions. If he wants to do a good business then the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, while, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2680.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 560.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78571428571 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59119141693 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 854.1 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.7511891043 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.666666667 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3333333333 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70833333333 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186083606415 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0558973918926 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0556804007453 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110204658411 0.128457276422 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0540630191779 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.