The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Ensuring that your customers receive the best service and optimal comfort is definitely the best way to boost the reputation of your business. The vice president concerns regarding construction of better quality roads for the shopping mall are justified. However, the recommendation that employing Appian Roadways to construct the access roads is based upon unwarranted assumptions that dramatically decrease its persuasiveness. Therefore, in order to produce a comprehensive conclusion and make an informed decision, the following two questions must be addressed.
First and foremost, what are the usage patterns for the roads created by Good Intention Roadways and Appian Roadways respectively? Without a detailed analysis of the usage patterns that takes into account the number of vehicles and pedistrians, type of vehicles, and , the author's conclusion about the road qualities of each company is not justified. It is possible that Route 101 is frequented by heavy vehicles like trucks and tanks, and is thus susceptible to damage. On the other hand, the Route 40 could be located in a remote region, resulting in less usage and consequent better condition. There is also the possibility that the faster wearing of Route 101 is inevitable owing to harsh climatic conditions.
Second, how credible and efficient are the state-of-art paving machines and the quality-control manager hired by Appian Roadways? Nowhere in the memo does the vice president provide evidence proving the credibility of the newly purchased machines and the quality-control manager' skills. Even though the company's intention of demonstrating continued commitment to quality is commendable, it is likely that they fail to actually achieve the desired outcome. Maybe, the manager is a novice in access road construction business, therefore, highly capable of making mistakes and compromising quality. Without concrete evidence, this statement cannot be used to back the vice president's recommendation.
To sum, the recommendation as it stands is riddled with unwarranted assumptions and fails to be cogent. To ensure that quality isn't compromised, the vice president must ensure that the above mentioned questions are addressed before formulating a conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1865 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.518 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.095 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.554 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s and pedistrians, type of vehicles, and , the authors conclusion about the road q...
^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...edistrians, type of vehicles, and , the authors conclusion about the road qualities of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 128, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...ls to be cogent. To ensure that quality isnt compromised, the vice president must en...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, so, therefore, thus, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1910.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.66765578635 5.12650576532 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18207335564 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.581602373887 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 599.4 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.3808504812 57.8364921388 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 119.375 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0625 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166278045952 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.049459728985 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0312607577395 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884735881963 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0214393630033 0.0628817314937 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.61 12.5979740519 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.93 8.32208582834 119% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.