The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
Due to a recent survey that the business whose executives sleep less than 6 hours have higher profits, the author contends that in any fields, executives should diminish their time for rest. While the argument is seemingly reasonable to some extents, the author should reassess the validity of assumption to establish strongly.
First of all, the author assumes nearly 300 executives really no more than 6 hours of sleep. However, it is necessary for him or her to evaluate the assumption. It is possible that some interviewers who would like to show that they are hard workings and devote much effort and time into working, deliberately tell a lie that they only sleep less than 6 hours. Their attempts to use such ingenuous answer to establish a reliable and industrious symbol to their superiors. In fact, it is more likely that whenever they felt exhausted, they would go to bed as early as they can. If the author can eliminate such possibility, the conclusion might be more persuasive.
Apart from that, in the letter, the author attributes all the credits, such as profit, growth and celebrated reputation, to executives. Nevertheless, he or she have to reexamine such assume. In my opinion, even if the executives really have rest less than 6 hours, we could not regard all the accomplishments as executives' efforts. To run a famous corporation successfully, each employee would be a determinant, with indispensable diligent hard working. Even though the executives must be a bunch of people who are the soul of a company, other factors tie more tightly with companies' characteristics. Therefore, this assumption made by the author is tenuous to his or her conclusion.
Finally, besides the opinions stated above, the letter argues that, because of the arguably success in advertising field, this conclusion can be suitable to other industries. Nonetheless, the author should consider preciseness of such argument. While the assumption can be cited as a sound evidence in advertising, there are hundreds of other areas strikingly different from advertising industry. To be more specific, as a leader of a sport team, in preparation for the decisive game of next day, he has to have a nice sleep, refreshing himself in order to modulate body condition. Clearly, different industries have highly divergent requirements to executives. If the author does not reexamine the assumption, it would still be powerless.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 393 350
No. of Characters: 1969 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.452 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.01 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.899 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.058 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.463 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 161, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
... to executives. Nevertheless, he or she have to reexamine such assume. In my opinion...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, finally, first, however, if, nevertheless, nonetheless, really, so, still, therefore, while, apart from, as to, in fact, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2036.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18066157761 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03446396641 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.559796437659 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 637.2 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.3299838449 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.8 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.65 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.55 5.70786347227 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.104356089428 0.218282227539 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0284845189346 0.0743258471296 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0433746204412 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0696686745222 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0392494652829 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.