The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine. "A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firmsOf the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
In the study which shows of the 300 male and female executives have and average of 6 hours of sleep and they show good success rate and growth in their firms. As the author have not given a full fledged proof that sleep less than 6 hours make these executive successful in their firms. The number which he has taken 300 for male and female must be of last 10 year or 5 year , there it is not mentioned for current year what the efficiency of the executives are? do they even sleep for less than 6 hours and still are successful in their firms.
The Survey which he must have taken must be for 500 people from which 300 people must be having good growth and success rate in their firm but the remaining 200 people , the author has not mentioned about them what is their success rate and growth and profit margin. The success rate and the growth of these people must be high because the executives may be experienced executives who already know about that technology, and they must have worked hard in prior and now their growth rate and success rate is high. There must be good success rate and growth rate also because the executives which tried to achieve this success would be, because it was a easier deal to chase or easier technology to work on which gave them opportunity to have the profitable margins.
The author must have not survey in depth about the executives success rate, as the efficiency must be there because they must have got help in their business from external source also which must have lead to profits and success. The success rate also maybe be because the Team which was working was determined for their project to get succussed and there was proper management done in the team to fulfill their needs for the profits which they achieved. Author have not given any accurate rates for their success of the executives, which is not convincing.
Therefore, there are many aspects which should be considered when there is a success rate of the business firm, sleeping less than 6 hours is not only the point which should be considered by author.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2023-08-08 | yuktapradeep | 50 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1672 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.495 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.161 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.361 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.503 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.301 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...success rate and growth in their firms. As the author have not given a full fledge...
^^
Line 1, column 374, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...female must be of last 10 year or 5 year , there it is not mentioned for current y...
^^
Line 1, column 463, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Do
...t the efficiency of the executives are? do they even sleep for less than 6 hours a...
^^
Line 2, column 70, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... taken must be for 500 people from which 300 people must be having good growth an...
^^
Line 2, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... their firm but the remaining 200 people , the author has not mentioned about them...
^^
Line 2, column 651, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...e this success would be, because it was a easier deal to chase or easier technolo...
^
Line 3, column 26, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'surveyed'.
Suggestion: surveyed
...able margins. The author must have not survey in depth about the executives success r...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 52, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'executives'' or 'executive's'?
Suggestion: executives'; executive's
...must have not survey in depth about the executives success rate, as the efficiency must be...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 108, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ss rate, as the efficiency must be there because they must have got help in their...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, may, so, still, therefore
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 55.5748502994 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 16.3942115768 6% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1697.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 372.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.56182795699 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.21524185194 2.78398813304 80% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.397849462366 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 514.8 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.5136416558 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 154.272727273 119.503703932 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.8181818182 23.324526521 145% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.27272727273 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134767312207 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0873747191451 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0819889781226 0.0701772020484 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108739284127 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0768905705805 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.9 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.76 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 44.0 98.500998004 45% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.