The following appeared as part of a recommendation from the financial planning office to the administration of Fern Valley University.
"In the past few years, Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications. The reason can be discovered from our students, who most often cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. Therefore, in order to increase the number of students attending our university, and hence to regain our position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area, it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among the alumni that will enable us to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The argument is unconvincing as it leaves makes many sweeping generalizations and leaves many unwarranted assumptions which significantly hampers the merit of the statement.
The first and foremost assumption that the argument makes here is that the reason for the decline in the enrollments and admission applications is poor teaching and inadequate library resources. These could be the reasons of decline but it is not necessary that these were the chief sources of dissatisfaction. It could be possible that the students find the institute real expensive. The fees might be real high for the type of courses offered. The courses offered were not enough. There might be many courses which might be in the recent trend but the university doesn't have the courses.
Additionally, another big assumption the argument makes here is that starting a fund-raising campaign among the alumni could help solve this problem of decline in the enrollments and admission applications as the fund will enable the university to expand the range of subjects whereas we aren't really sure of what the cause is. So, starting a fund-raising campaign might or might not help.
Further, only by increasing the size of the library facilities is not important. The quality of teaching is what matters the most. More qualified and experienced teachers might be the most important and primary requirement which the argument fails to mention.
By making so many unwarranted assumptions that significantly undermines the argument. The argument becomes one dimensional in nature and fails to strike a chord with the reader. The efficacy of the statement is seriously compromised and renders it ineffective. As a reader one can't agree with the questionable assumptions that underlie the argument.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-26 | Gnyana | 68 | view |
| 2023-05-09 | shubham shah | 55 | view |
| 2021-04-04 | ashimaar | 70 | view |
| 2020-12-24 | Ajantha J | 55 | view |
| 2020-07-08 | vithikasalomi | 68 | view |
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- Write a response 53
- The following appeared as part of a recommendation from the financial planning office to the administration of Fern Valley University In the past few years Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications 70
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition 50
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1467 1500
No. of Different Words: 140 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.202 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.01 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.107 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 173, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...antly hampers the merit of the statement The first and foremost assumption that t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 561, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... in the recent trend but the university doesnt have the courses Additionally anothe...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...e university doesnt have the courses Additionally another big assumption the argument mak...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...expand the range of subjects whereas we arent really sure of what the cause is So sta...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 384, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...raising campaign might or might not help Further only by increasing the size of t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 256, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ment which the argument fails to mention By making so many unwarranted assumption...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 73, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'the argument'.
Suggestion: the argument
...sumptions that significantly undermines the argument The argument becomes one dimensional in nature and f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 275, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... renders it ineffective As a reader one cant agree with the questionable assumptions...
^^^^
Line 9, column 346, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e assumptions that underlie the argument
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, so, whereas, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 22.0 55.5748502994 40% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1479.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 280.0 441.139720559 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28214285714 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9849772672 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 204.123752495 65% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.475 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 462.6 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 19.7664670659 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 280.0 22.8473053892 1226% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 57.8364921388 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 1479.0 119.503703932 1238% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 280.0 23.324526521 1200% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 46.0 5.70786347227 806% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 8.20758483034 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0610020779118 0.218282227539 28% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0610020779118 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0284375817634 0.128457276422 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0352889548677 0.0628817314937 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 143.4 14.3799401198 997% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -221.18 48.3550499002 -457% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.1628742515 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 113.7 12.197005988 932% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.82 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 21.19 8.32208582834 255% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 59.0 12.3882235529 476% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 114.0 11.1389221557 1023% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 114.0 11.9071856287 957% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.