The following is a memorandum from the marketing department of a computer manufacturer.
“We need a new strategy in our ads promoting our line of laptop computers. Surveys show that laptop purchasers consider reliability more important than any other quality. Thus, we should highlight that our Compulink laptop is the most technologically advanced laptop you can buy and that it uses the same hardware that NASA uses in its computers on the space station. We should also point out that our customers will save money because they won’t have to bring their Compulink laptop in for costly repairs. This approach is sure to increase our market share.”
Write a response in which you examine the underlying assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument hinges on these assumptions. Comment on how any additional information could affect the argument.
The marketing department of Compulink laptops concluded that highlighting their laptops are the most technologically advanced and uses the same hardware that NASA does helps their market share. They also wanted to point out that the customers won’t have to bring their laptops in for costly repairs. Both the strategies were based on the survey which says that laptop consumers look for reliability rather than any other quality. I would say the conclusions drawn by the department are precipitous as there are many preassumed facts while framing them.
Highlighting that the hardware used in the laptops tantamount to that of NASA’s might be impressive but there is no mention of any facts that the consumers want such laptops. The hardware used by NASA for the byzantine computations is very advanced and is superfluous for an individual who wants a laptop for usual work. The customers will not be ready to waste their money on hardware that they won’t make complete use of.
Stating that the customers will save money as they would not have to bring their laptops in for pocket draining repairs may not be a good idea too. As the survey suggests that customers look for reliability, they expect the laptops to be fail proof. They probably will try to buy a laptop that does not need repairs. So touting that the repairs won’t be costly will not work.
Boasting about the features of its own product is essential for a company. But giving a statement about their laptop saying it is the most technologically advanced laptop may backfire if not true. In a very competitive market, where there are new models launching every two months, such a statement needs to be properly verified. It should be used for advertising only when confirmed that it is true.
Instead of these strategies that are not germane, the marketing agency can try various other methods. As an alternative to saying that customers will spend less on repairs, the department can offer a warrenty cover for a predefined period that covers the costs of certain repairs. This allows the customers understand how confident the company is about its product. This also enhances reliability by assuring that there won’t be repairs and if they do, the company covers the costs.
The advertisements can also present different laptops for all kinds of needs. People use laptops for various purposes; few use it for gaming, few for work, few for studies and browsing. The specifications needed by people vary with the type of work they perform. So the ads can showcase laptops with varying specifications for varying tasks. This helps to catch the eyes of specific customers as the ads are now personalized for them. Making such improvements will help the company to increase their market share.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2262 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.844 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.643 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.836 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 21, column 120, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun use seems to be countable; consider using: 'few uses'.
Suggestion: few uses
...eople use laptops for various purposes; few use it for gaming, few for work, few for st...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, so, while, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2346.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06695464363 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73841220911 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4686825054 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.1181173374 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.84 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.52 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.88 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171879655672 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0571503928338 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0457526206574 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103707103749 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0492322308195 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.