To compete with Regal Books, the business manager of Monarch Books suggests adding a cafe to the bookstore just as what Regal Books did to attract more customers. To make space for the cafe, the manager decides to sacrifice the children's books section, which he thinks will become less popular given the prediction of low birth rates. However, the reasoning behind such a decision includes a wide variety of unfounded assumptions and fails to consider the many factors that attract customers to Monarch Books.
Adding the same feature of cafe as Regal Books does not guarantee a successful competition. In fact, businesses should find their own niche and exercise their unique qualities to their target customers instead of simply following the steps of other businesses. As a business that has been open in the same location for more than 20 years with a steady customer influx, Monarch Books should extend their strength in gathering the hearts of local customers. They should keep looking for more diverse books, which is their unique advantage. They should also conduct customer satisfaction surveys to visitors to truly understand what their customers want, specifically what would attract their visitors to another bookstore. Investing money in a cafe that might not improve their status can be a waste of money for Monarch Books, and they can use the funds to purchase more diverse books and survey their customers.
What's more, since the biggest edge of Monarch Books is its diverse book collection, it should not sacrifice the section of children's books just to make space for a potential cafe whose strength is not clear. Among customers who are attracted by the wide selection of books in Monarch Books, there must also be customers, including parents, teachers, and children, who specifically look for children's books. Cutting that section will cause the bookstore to lose these customers. What's more, the bookstore may even lose more customers as although the cafe itself doesn't take much space, the storage place for the ingredients needed for the cafe can be huge, which might require the store to close even more of its book sections. Even if most customers do not look for children's books, cutting this section will also show the bookstore's lack of determination in including various types of books and its submissiveness to commercial competition that does not necessarily bring their readers benefits, but only increases their own profits. Thus, more customers will become suspicious of the bookstore's ethos after they discontinue the children's books section and will not frequent the store anymore.
Finally, the business manager interprets the results of the national census incorrectly, for even if there are less teenagers under the age of 10, there are still people who need children's books. These can be educators, researchers, authors, and parents-to-be. They still need these books as valuable resources for their careers and entertainment. What's more, as a person who works in the cultural industry, the business manager should not ignore the benefits of a small population just because they want more profits. Such an act is immoral and unfair. After all, bookstores exist, apart from making money and providing jobs to people, to cultivate the foundation for a more educated and civilized society, and the manager should not ignore the cultural meaning of the work he does.
In a word, the business manager of Monarch Books should reconsider his decision due to a variety of reasons. He should modify his competition strategies, prioritize their customers' opinions, and reevaluate the results from the national census. Moreover, the bookstore should never underestimate its responsibility as part of the cultural and educational industry.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 605 350
No. of Characters: 3110 1500
No. of Different Words: 273 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.96 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.14 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.644 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 220 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 179 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.208 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.874 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...erse books and survey their customers. Whats more, since the biggest edge of Monarch...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 478, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... the bookstore to lose these customers. Whats more, the bookstore may even lose more ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 561, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e customers as although the cafe itself doesnt take much space, the storage place for ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1086, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bookstores'' or 'bookstore's'?
Suggestion: bookstores'; bookstore's
...customers will become suspicious of the bookstores ethos after they discontinue the childr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 112, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun teenagers is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...nsus incorrectly, for even if there are less teenagers under the age of 10, there ar...
^^^^
Line 4, column 164, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'peopled'.
Suggestion: peopled
...rs under the age of 10, there are still people who need childrens books. These can be ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 348, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...es for their careers and entertainment. Whats more, as a person who works in the cult...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, still, thus, after all, apart from, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3171.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 604.0 441.139720559 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95746018188 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70028341568 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 276.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456953642384 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 960.3 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.3576570616 57.8364921388 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.125 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1666666667 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.20833333333 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.342512566543 0.218282227539 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107425421861 0.0743258471296 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0905806034023 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215962284938 0.128457276422 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0640234066938 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.