An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
In the above editorial it is stated that the increasing deficiency of vitamin A in the nation of Tagus is being combated with the use of a new breed of millet which is high in vitamin A, which will be ready consumed by majority of the people of Tagus as it is already a staple food for them and will thus eradicate the vitamin A deficiency plaguing the nation of Tagus. However before this recommendation is implemented, three questions must be answered .
First of all, what is the primary cause that only the citizens of Tagus are facing a deficiency in vitamin A? In other words there may be a serious issue in underlying in the biological system of the people of Tagus which may make there body incapable of absorbing the vitamin A even though present in there diet. It is possible that there may be a particular gene in the Tagus citizens that causes this deficiency. If the aforementioned scenario has merit then the new engineered breed of millet high in vitamin A will be rendered useless.
Secondly, the new engineered breed of millet high in vitamin A doesn't have any side effects and doesn't have any variance form the original naturally grown millet? The new millet needs to be highly tested and scientifically proved to be harmless to the body before giving it to the masses, if not then it might give rise to maybe an unknown disease which would cause more problems than solved. If the taste of the millet changes dues to the addition of high quantities of vitamin A it might not be consumed as often as it used to by the people of Tagus and thus the above mentioned method does not hold water.
Thirdly, will the subsidiaries provided by the government be enough motivation for the farmers to grow a new unproved variation of millet compared to normal one which has been doing well? The farmers are already troubled enough by the unpredictable climate which sometimes completely destroys there crops, and then taking the risk of growing a more expensive and not proven crop will give the farmer not motivation to grow them as if gone unsold the farmer will be insolvent as majority of the farmers have little to no savings and if the crops under perform the farmer might get depressed and might even take him life.
In conclusion the argument as it stands now is incredibly flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the author can provide justifiable reasoning to the above mentioned questions ( typically in scientific study ) then one can fully evaluate the decision of going ahead with new engineered
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2062 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.618 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.248 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.367 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 45, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he above editorial it is stated that the increasing deficiency of vitamin A in th...
^^
Line 1, column 372, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...eficiency plaguing the nation of Tagus. However before this recommendation is implement...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 455, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...mented, three questions must be answered . First of all, what is the primary caus...
^^
Line 2, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er words there may be a serious issue in underlying in the biological system of t...
^^
Line 2, column 417, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s citizens that causes this deficiency. If the aforementioned scenario has merit t...
^^
Line 3, column 64, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...eered breed of millet high in vitamin A doesnt have any side effects and doesnt have a...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...amin A doesnt have any side effects and doesnt have any variance form the original nat...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 122, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
...de effects and doesnt have any variance form the original naturally grown millet? Th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 479, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'A' or 'it'?
Suggestion: A; It
... addition of high quantities of vitamin A it might not be consumed as often as it us...
^^^^
Line 5, column 113, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ts reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the author can provide justifiable reas...
^^
Line 5, column 193, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...asoning to the above mentioned questions typically in scientific study then one ...
^^
Line 5, column 224, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...questions typically in scientific study then one can fully evaluate the decision...
^^
Line 5, column 286, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...valuate the decision of going ahead with new engineered
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, well, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2089.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70495495495 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64167220074 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470720720721 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 684.0 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 99.7638632089 57.8364921388 172% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.692307692 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.1538461538 23.324526521 146% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53846153846 5.70786347227 167% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.418210694544 0.218282227539 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146330549336 0.0743258471296 197% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104198930287 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.227439777902 0.128457276422 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114549546419 0.0628817314937 182% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.43 48.3550499002 94% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.