An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
In the prompt, the author suggested that a new type of millet rich in vitamin A will be helpful for the impoverished nation of Tagus and thus, government should try to promote it. The author came to this conclusion based on the response to vitamin A deficiency among poeple in Tagus and the engineering of a new type of millet breed that is rich in Vitamin A. While the author's suggestion might be helpful, but before evaluation the validiting of this suggesting, three questions must be answered.
First of all, was any survey conducted on the people of Tagus on if they are ready to accept the new breed of millet? Author came to the conclusion based on the assumption that the residents of Tagus will readily adopt the new variety because millet is already a staple food. But it might be possible that the new millet breed does not taste the same as the old breed. There is a possibility that the new millet breed although high in vitamin A does not become popular among the residents because of its different taste, texture or some other factor. If this scenario comes true, the authors argument will be weakened.
Secondly, will the new breed be similar to the old breed in terms of price? Although the farmers will be paid subsidies for the hgh cost of seeds, but the international development organization might want to make up for the high cost of seeds with the revenues that come from selling the crop. Thus, the price for the millet crop might be significantly higher than the old breed. Since, millet is a stable food in Tagus, people might be relunctant to buy a costlier breed. If the above scenerio proves to be true, author's argument of promoting the new breed will not be effective.
Lastly, the author will need to provide evidence of the success of the yielding the new millet breed seeds. An international development organization has engineered a new breed of millet, but there is no guarantee that the seeds will yield into crops sucessfully. It might be possible that the weather or the fields of Tagus is not suitable for growing the new breed millet crops. If the author is not able to provide evidence in favor of the successful yielding of new breed millet in the fields of Tagus, his suggestion for promoting the new breed will hold no water.
In conclusion, the suggestion that the author provided is significantly flawed as it is depended on some unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to provide evidence and answer the above stated questions in support for his suggestion, only then it will be possible to evaluate the validity of his suggestion and only then his suggestion might bring the likely outcome he predicted
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 40 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2156 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.627 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.581 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.994 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 371, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ed that is rich in Vitamin A. While the authors suggestion might be helpful, but before...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 584, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...actor. If this scenario comes true, the authors argument will be weakened. Secondly, w...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2199.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71888412017 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63043302864 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.412017167382 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.9977284803 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.736842105 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5263157895 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.84210526316 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.522952781636 0.218282227539 240% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.186403967499 0.0743258471296 251% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.099126960679 0.0701772020484 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.298791534859 0.128457276422 233% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137084956945 0.0628817314937 218% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.