A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away thus the proposed new jazz club in Monroe the C Note would have the local market all to itself Plus jazz is extremely popular in Mon

Essay topics:

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."

In the application the group of developers wants to conclude, that a jazz music club in the city Monroe will a new lightening and tremendously profitable enterprise. As here there is no near by jazz club is there. However, here developers supports his arguments with three assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.

First of all, here developer mentioned that in this city(monroe)where jazz music is extremely famous and 100,000 people attended the jazz festival last summer but that does not indicates that the people will come to the jazz club as that was a show where a thousand of people were there, for that reason people have come to enjoy and feel the moment of music festival. if either of the scenarios is true, then the developer argument does not hold the water.

Second of all, the developer claims that, form the survey it indicates that jazz fans spend close to $1000 per year on jazz instruments. Perhaps this survey was taken nationwide that does not signs that the people from the Monroe will also spend that much on the jazz instrument, maybe the fans who are wealthy enough to purchase that instrument to them only survey had been conducted. Survey information is not enough to conclude, these all information should be mentioned to make prediction reasonable.

Finally, they indicates that the in Monroe the ‘jazz nightly’ is the highest rated show, but maybe on the week nights all people were with their family members and enjoying the weekend rather than listening the radio or extend they may gone to the party at the club for enjoyment only the person who is truly passionate about the jazz and seeing the carrier as jazz artist could have listening the show, which will little as penny of amount.

Conclusion, the argument which is presented by the developer for getting the business loan is not much argue-able which is weaken the developer, they need strong and reliable survey and information is needed to firm conclusion is reached. if the developer answers the above three question, it will be possible to fully evaluate the validity of the argument.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (2 votes)
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Essays by user roman_patel :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 167, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...and tremendously profitable enterprise. As here there is no near by jazz club is t...
^^
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...profitable enterprise. As here there is no near by jazz club is there. However, he...
^^
Line 1, column 187, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
...fitable enterprise. As here there is no near by jazz club is there. However, here devel...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...veness of the argument. First of all, here developer mentioned that in this ci...
^^
Line 3, column 177, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'indicate'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: indicate
... festival last summer but that does not indicates that the people will come to the jazz c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 369, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... and feel the moment of music festival. if either of the scenarios is true, then t...
^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'indicate'
Suggestion: indicate
...prediction reasonable. Finally, they indicates that the in Monroe the ‘jazz nightly’ i...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[3]
Message: Did you mean 'go' or 'be gone'?
Suggestion: go; be gone
... listening the radio or extend they may gone to the party at the club for enjoyment ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 124, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
...ss loan is not much argue-able which is weaken the developer, they need strong and rel...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 240, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...s needed to firm conclusion is reached. if the developer answers the above three q...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1790.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97222222222 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66865666489 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508333333333 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 538.2 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 116.074783532 57.8364921388 201% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 162.727272727 119.503703932 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.7272727273 23.324526521 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.81818181818 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275227211647 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111703725662 0.0743258471296 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104650096206 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156087761378 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0810760035812 0.0628817314937 129% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 48.3550499002 98% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.14 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1739 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.831 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.574 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.232 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.74 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5