In a laboratory study of two different industrial cleansers, CleanAll was found to remove 40% more dirt and kill 30% more bacteria than the next best cleanser. Furthermore, a study showed that employees working at buildings cleaned with CleanAll used far fewer sick days than employees working in buildings cleaned with other cleansers. Therefore, to prevent employee illness, all companies should use CleanAll as their industrial cleanser.
The author asserts that the CleanAll should be used in all industries as it removes 40% more dirt and kills 30% more bacteria than the second-best cleanser. Moreover, the author contends that employees working in a building where CleanAll is used, people use fewer sick days as compared to the building where other cleansers are used. The argument rest on many unwarranted assumptions such as the types of dirt and bacteria used for study in the laboratory will be the same as encountered in real-life situations. Furthermore, another assumption is that the employee will take sick leave only due to the unhygenic environment of the working place.
The author claims that the CleanAll is the best because in a lab test it removes dirt and bacteria more effectively than the second-best product available in the market. The argument rest on an unstated assumption that the bacteria and dirt tested under lab would be of the same type in all other places. Perhaps, the bacteria and dirt that was tested are similar to leather manufacturing companies and different from the hospitals. If this is the case, the hospitals building would become much more unhealthy and unsafe by using CleanAll.
The second claim made by the author is that people use fewer sick days in the building where CleanAll is used as compared to the buildings where other cleansers are used. The argument relies on an unwarranted assumption and if the assumption will fall apart than the whole argument will also fall apart. The assumption is that employees only take sick leave because of unhealthy working place and there are no other reasons. Perhaps, the employees working conditions are playing a significant role. The employees working in the office have a much healthier working condition than the one who is working as labor in the factory. If this is the case, the sick leave will increase for an employee who is working in much more unsafe conditions than the other employees who is working in office and CleanAll will not play any role.
Apart from that this piece of information should be looked with one more angle. This laboratory test is done by which organization. Perhaps, the laboratory is working under the influence of CleanAll manufacturing company and published these results so that CleanAll could make more profits. The author must provide information regarding the authenticity of the research.
The author should provide information regarding the varieties of bacteria and dirt used in the lab test and the only factor that the employees are taking sick leave is unhygienic conditions of working place. Moreover, the author should provide proof that the research is conducted unbiased and not to make a lucrative move for the company. Unless these questions are unanswered the argument remains specious.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. need to argue:
Therefore, to prevent employee illness, all companies should use CleanAll as their industrial cleanser.
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2301 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.981 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.083 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 306, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e whole argument will also fall apart. The assumption is that employees only take ...
^^^
Line 6, column 341, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Unless” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... make a lucrative move for the company. Unless these questions are unanswered the argu...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, look, moreover, regarding, second, so, then, apart from, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2345.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 462.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07575757576 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67821699522 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.380952380952 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 726.3 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.9893727309 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.666666667 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.14285714286 5.70786347227 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230394014147 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0741838442962 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0894456625726 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143467282583 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0896464126128 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.