In the past, the body styles of Patriot cars have been old-fashioned, and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors' cars. But now, since many regions in this country report rapid increases in the numbers of newly licensed drivers, we should be able to increase our share of the market by selling cars to this growing population. Thus, we should discontinue our oldest models and concentrate instead on manufacturing sporty cars. We can also improve the success of our marketing campaigns by switching our advertising to the Youth Advertising agency, which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink."
The president of the Patriot car seems affirmative of the fact that increase in the licensed drivers within the region could be beneficial to the company if altercations in the look of model goes the right way and marketed smartly can increase the sales. To a certain extent the president’s idea of changing the look to sporty from old looking model may seem the obvious thought considering the times. However there could be certain aspects and research that may be required before finalising the idea.
The essential part is surveying; the age group of the new licensed drivers, the features they are looking for in a car, the amount of money they would like to shell out if provided with their listed features. The other important part is analysing the mistakes of the past which couldn’t lead to big sales as their competitors. It may not necessary be the look of the car but about the durability of the car, the mileage it provides, the amenities, resale value, the number of times it requires servicing, amount of maintenance, etc. These should be the prime points that should be considered before manufacturing new models.
Marketing is undoubtedly the second most important factor once the new model is manufactured and rolled out. Switching to a new advertising agency is certainly not a bad idea, as it successfully promoted country’s leading soft drink. However I feel that the above mentioned points are the main factors that decide on the sales. Even if the agency markets well and initially it makes a huge sale, it is important to keep in mind the review people would have if the product does not keep upto the authencity of what is preached.
A customer should be treated like God and should not be disappointed with false promises. It the product fails to keep up with the ads, it may lead to initial days huge sale but would lead back to the same old situation. Hence, a clearer survey of drivers, their expectations and fallbacks of product should be anaylsed
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1606 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.682 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.586 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.613 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.322 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 403, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... obvious thought considering the times. However there could be certain aspects and rese...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 234, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... promoted country’s leading soft drink. However I feel that the above mentioned points...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... leading soft drink. However I feel that the above mentioned points are the main ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, look, may, second, so, then, well, i feel, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 16.3942115768 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1647.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 342.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81578947368 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30037696126 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68429493172 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.538011695906 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 506.7 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.7628028134 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.642857143 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4285714286 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.35714285714 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176624833146 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541729971367 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0481767834525 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0961701772097 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0383822327686 0.0628817314937 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.