Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Here the author tells us about Pirouettes Ballet School being the Best Dance School in Elmtown because their teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies in the world. The author recommends choosing Pirouettes Ballet School as their dance school. The author has several premises to strengthen his arguments. However, there are several questions need to be answered to make the argument logical.
First of all, is ballet school appropriate for any child? In other words where the ballet school is appropriate for the student who doesn't like ballet but likes other dance forms. It may be possible that the student joins the school but doesn't like ballet, then it is the school's credibility of the school to provide what the student is interested in. If the above statement is true then the author's argument that Pirouettes Ballet School is best for any student does not hold water.
Secondly, the author says that Pirouettes Ballet School is the best dance school in Elmtown. to prove his point he should provide more information regarding this. It may be that Pirouettes Ballet School is only good at ballet but poor at other dance forms. It can also happen that the Elmtown is having less dance school than compared to other towns. If the above assumptions hold true then Pirouettes Ballet School is the best school is weakened.
Further, are teachers of the school have performed in many prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Are those teachers capable of teaching the students because teaching someone is different from wining on oneself. Teaching requires attributes, patience, virtues. A great performer may not be a good teacher. It is also said in the argument that many students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. It may so that these students may have gone to different dance schools after the Pirouettes Ballet School, they have some special attributes that made them special dancers. If either of the scenarios holds true then the conclusion drawn gets weaken.
In Conclusion, the author needs to provide more information to prove Pirouettes Ballet School as the best dance school in Elmtown. It the author could justify the above questions or provide more evidence to it, then it will fully evaluate the visibility of the proposed recommendations.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1906 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.964 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.504 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.245 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...hool is appropriate for the student who doesnt like ballet but likes other dance forms...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 238, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e that the student joins the school but doesnt like ballet, then it is the schools cre...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 273, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
... but doesnt like ballet, then it is the schools credibility of the school to provide wh...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...If the above statement is true then the authors argument that Pirouettes Ballet School ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...ol is the best dance school in Elmtown. to prove his point he should provide more ...
^^
Line 5, column 352, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ce school than compared to other towns. If the above assumptions hold true then Pi...
^^
Line 7, column 611, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ributes that made them special dancers. If either of the scenarios holds true then...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1952.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 382.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10994764398 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55731696693 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.447643979058 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.595162072 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.7272727273 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3636363636 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36363636364 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.490567151133 0.218282227539 225% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.166616839292 0.0743258471296 224% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.14123121926 0.0701772020484 201% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.299155587969 0.128457276422 233% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0750949727172 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.06 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.13 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.