A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In mentioned part of the letter, it is presented some observations and then reached to an conclusion. The argument represents the recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys and their levels of stimulation. The experiment focuses on the hormone cortisols level in infant monkeys. Monkeys and humans are compared inbetween. And the final conclusion is derived after this experiment that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offsprings.
In the presented analysis, there are certains assumptions made by author which makes argument not viable. These assumptions are mentioned as follows. First of all, the experiment is conducted with eighteen monkeys, hence we can't generalize cortisal pattern for all other monkeys just by 18 monkeys. Apart from this we also don't know how these monkeys are choosen, as they may be chosen depending upon specific qualities or they are choosen random. Both of these flaws makes the argument weak in an initial stage.
Besides, the chosen monkeys may show different type of stimulation according to their individual quality. It is likely not possible that all monkeys have same level of stimulation. It is also not mentioned in the analysis that among eighteen monkeys how many having their first stimulation.What if most of the monkeys having several offsprings and selected for experiment. By considering this the experiment fails. Another assumption made by author is that, human and monkey producing high level of cortisol. There is not stated evidence suporting the comparison between human and monkey. How we can assume that monday and human have same level of stimulation or cortisol. The comparison made here requires some support for leading towards the conclusion.
Besides, high level of the hormone cortisol in monkeys may have several other factors such as envionmental effect or their physicial structure etc. The only reason for high cortisol stated here is that it is because that it's monkey's level of stimulation. Author could have stated more proof to justify the conclusion.
Therefore, there are certain assumptions which makes the given argument weak. It could have been better by displaying more evidences and links between the elements.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Monkeys and humans are compared inbetween.
Error: inbetween Suggestion: between
Sentence: In the presented analysis, there are certains assumptions made by author which makes argument not viable.
Error: certains Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Apart from this we also don't know how these monkeys are choosen, as they may be chosen depending upon specific qualities or they are choosen random.
Error: choosen Suggestion: choose
Sentence: There is not stated evidence suporting the comparison between human and monkey.
Error: suporting Suggestion: supporting
Sentence: How we can assume that monday and human have same level of stimulation or cortisol.
Error: monday Suggestion: money
Sentence: Besides, high level of the hormone cortisol in monkeys may have several other factors such as envionmental effect or their physicial structure etc. The only reason for high cortisol stated here is that it is because that it's monkey's level of stimulation.
Error: envionmental Suggestion: environmental
Error: physicial Suggestion: physical
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flaws:
It is not right on the topic. Look:
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1855 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.211 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.608 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.627 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.318 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 88, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...d some observations and then reached to an conclusion. The argument represents the...
^^
Line 1, column 458, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offsprings. In the presented...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...nducted with eighteen monkeys, hence we cant generalize cortisal pattern for all oth...
^^^^
Line 3, column 324, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... by 18 monkeys. Apart from this we also dont know how these monkeys are choosen, as ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 387, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to depend'.
Suggestion: to depend
...keys are choosen, as they may be chosen depending upon specific qualities or they are cho...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 291, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
...how many having their first stimulation.What if most of the monkeys having several o...
^^^^
Line 5, column 757, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ort for leading towards the conclusion. Besides, high level of the hormone corti...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 166, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...idences and links between the elements.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, hence, if, may, so, then, therefore, apart from, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1899.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 354.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36440677966 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73754466389 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508474576271 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 591.3 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.1265698574 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.5652173913 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.3913043478 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.67664670659 321% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281368972277 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0806932882049 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0775527769165 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142547355115 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0896698076129 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.3550499002 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.