"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of this proposition states that birth order can significantly effects new born characteristics positively. Here, it is also stated that first born infant has shown increase level of activities and compared this results with human. Though the argument present here, is well articulated but it is based on some unwarranted assumptions which make this proposition weaker. Let me show you how these assumptions are based on faulty reasoning and to what extant these assumptions might hold true.
First of all, the proposition is based on study which is done only on eighteen monkeys. How can author come up with an idea that what is true for eighteen monkeys, will be true for rest of the monkeys. For instance, if the study is done 1000 monkeys then different results may be found. Furthermore, data for 18 monkeys can be biased. Had the author given more information about the data and how the tests were done on the monkeys then it would have been easier for anyone to agree with the author.
Again, the author suggested that the first born infants produce twice more cortisol than the other. But, he doesn’t clearly mention to what extant this increase cortisol helps to increase the new born infants’ activity level than the other. For example, what if twice cortisol augments only 5% increase in the activity levels then it would not be a significant amount. So, this assumption also seems pretty much vague in terms of plausibility. Again, if the author gives more information about level of increase in activity level then it would be a good point to agree with.
Finally, a similarity is drawn between human and monkeys. But, what happens for humans does not necessarily mean it will happen for monkeys. Human infants and monkey infants birth conditions are also not same which is why it is also a pretty silly assumption which will create doubts to the reader.
In sum, the author made some vague assumptions based upon which the proposition seems not to hold rights. Based upon the facts presented above, it can be concluded that infants increase activity level is not believable at all.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1707 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.755 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.482 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.857 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.318 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'effect'
Suggestion: effect
...ates that birth order can significantly effects new born characteristics positively. He...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, may, so, then, well, for example, for instance, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1758.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91061452514 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54845370233 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477653631285 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.9911076514 57.8364921388 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 92.5263157895 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8421052632 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47368421053 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138586009825 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0452965486063 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0379055612087 0.0701772020484 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0718099727842 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0444234958223 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.