Claim: Young people's tendency to make extensive use of portable devices like
smartphones and tablets has hurt their development of social skills.
Reason: These devices encourage users to form artificial personalities and
relationships online rather than fully and honestly engaging with the people around
them.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the
claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
Social skills are developed by engaging with people in the real world. This is a fact. However, the generation of today has got highly influenced by the latest technologies and the available range of portable devices. Connecting with new people, in the present scenario, is generally done on the smartphones. These little rectangular modules as light as a pocket diary can serve us with anything we demand. People can find filters that make them look good. They can also find directions for a particular location without communicating with a human. They can order food from home instead of going out to the restaurants. There is nothing left that one can’t do from their smartphones or tablets or any other portable devices for that matter.
The only side effect of these efficient, task-simplifying gadget is the lack of social skills it is enunciating. It is not the last adverse effect but it certainly is not the least of all. The only way one can learn to behave in the real world is by participating in the real world. But these devices have given every individual to re-invent themselves. Let me explain. I know its not a bad thing to re-invent oneself. Though the scenario I’m emphasizing on is completely different in context. People are not actually implementing any changes in their real life. They are not even thinking about it. They are just inventing a whole new identity that the world would love or in some cases they would love to become. They are all taking the “fake it till you make it” quote quite seriously but let me tell you this. They might never make it.
This is leading to development of artificial personalities. It doesn’t sound so bad and dangerous but trust me, it’s the worst. I mean who would want to live in the world of fake people. Just look at our ancestors. They never had such technology. They might have faced a few difficulties in life but they were all united. They survived. And might I add, they lived much better lives than our toxic routine life revolving around these portable devices.
yes, young people need to socialize. But does it have to be online? No! we all have a real life. Not everyone out there has at least one friend. I know it’s bad out there. But we are to be blamed for creating such situation in the first place. I know it is easy to pretend. With all the features available on these devices including smartphones and tablets, we can live our life as perfectly as we want. But one day, you will realize what just happened. You will realize that you had your chance at life, a chance to build yourself as a human on this heavenly planet. And you let it go. Your whole life will flash in front of your eyes. You will realize that even if you may have millions of dollars, you still may not be satisfied with life since you have no true friends to count on. And I just want us all to realize these cold hard truths sooner rather than later.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-02-07 | Viveena Rathi | 54 | view |
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- Claim Young people s tendency to make extensive use of portable devices like smartphones and tablets has hurt their development of social skills Reason These devices encourage users to form artificial personalities and relationships online rather than ful 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 378, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...vent themselves. Let me explain. I know its not a bad thing to re-invent oneself. T...
^^^
Line 3, column 420, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s not a bad thing to re-invent oneself. Though the scenario I’m emphasizing on is comp...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 716, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n some cases they would love to become. They are all taking the “fake it till you ma...
^^^^
Line 3, column 815, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ite seriously but let me tell you this. They might never make it. This is leadin...
^^^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lties in life but they were all united. They survived. And might I add, they lived m...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Yes
...ving around these portable devices. yes, young people need to socialize. But do...
^^^
Line 7, column 73, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...ize. But does it have to be online? No! we all have a real life. Not everyone out ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, look, may, so, still, at least, i mean, in some cases, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 81.0 33.0505617978 245% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2404.0 2235.4752809 108% => OK
No of words: 524.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58778625954 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52574299141 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 215.323595506 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50572519084 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 744.3 704.065955056 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 27.0 6.24550561798 432% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 42.0 20.2370786517 208% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 12.0 23.0359550562 52% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.8532252216 60.3974514979 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 57.2380952381 118.986275619 48% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 12.4761904762 23.4991977007 53% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 2.71428571429 5.21951772744 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 19.0 4.83258426966 393% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126107777921 0.243740707755 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0282641016221 0.0831039109588 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.04373939021 0.0758088955206 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0774462323859 0.150359130593 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298852765013 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.4 14.1392134831 45% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 76.22 48.8420337079 156% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 5.6 12.1743820225 46% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.45 12.1639044944 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.38706741573 84% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 100.480337079 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 11.8971910112 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.8 11.2143820225 61% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.7820224719 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.