The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain ofvideo rental stores In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses atMovies Galore s ten video rental stores Since we are fam

   In view of the recent decrease in the profits of Movies Galore's video rental stores, the owner released a memorandum which includes changes to the operating time of the stores and elimination of the stock that is released 5 years ago. This alterations were made keeping in mind, significant decrease in operating conditions of one of its stores in Marston. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated these three questions must be answered.

            First of all, are the remaining nine rental stores comparable to the store at Marston? In other words, are the operating conditions and the expenses same at all the stores operated by Movies Galore?  It is possible that Marston is located at a less populated area where people tend to stay indoors after the sunset to avoid the miserable activates that happen during the night in less populated areas. Further, there is a possibility that the electricity expenses are high in the Marston which is less densely populated and this might not be problem with other rental stores. Taking the above scenarios into consideration the conclusion draw is weaken.

            Secondly, do people not watch movies that are older than five years? The owner of the Movies Galore prematurely assumes that the people are not interested to watch movies that are older than 5 years. People like different types of movies and watch them to pass their free time. Maybe people are interested in watching a movie that was released eight years earlier due to the recent fame it gained or the movies in the present time are not the ones they seek or enjoy watching with family. If the present movies are not their cup of tea they will definitely watch the older movies which they can spend their time watching alone with the families. If the above is true the assumption doesn't hold water.

            Finally, instead of focusing on the operating conditions of the store one can think of the suggest improving the quality of movies that are being rented. The profit in the store in Marston is only studied for a month and the changes are assumed to bring profit to nine such other stores which is highly unlikely to be possible. Further, there is chance that the stores once the changes are in effect might even decrease the profit and end up being in loss. If the assumption made in above is considered to be true , the recommendation is further weakened.

In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is flawed due to its reliance on uncertified assumptions. In order to evaluate it any further, there is a need to provide more evidence. With more evidence, it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the recommendation.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
   In view of the recent decrease in the pr...
^^^
Line 1, column 239, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...the stock that is released 5 years ago. This alterations were made keeping in mind, ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...se three questions must be answered.             First of all, are the remaining nine ren...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll the stores operated by Movies Galore?  It is possible that Marston is located a...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation the conclusion draw is weaken.             Secondly, do people not watch movies tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 502, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hey seek or enjoy watching with family. If the present movies are not their cup of...
^^
Line 5, column 659, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... time watching alone with the families. If the above is true the assumption doesnt...
^^
Line 5, column 695, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...es. If the above is true the assumption doesnt hold water.             Finally, ins...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ue the assumption doesnt hold water.             Finally, instead of focusing on the oper...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 100, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...onditions of the store one can think of the suggest improving the quality of movies that ar...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 526, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n made in above is considered to be true , the recommendation is further weakened....
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, in conclusion, first of all, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.5258426966 184% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 33.0505617978 85% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 58.6224719101 113% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2272.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 458.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96069868996 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93639407848 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 215.323595506 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467248908297 0.4932671777 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 712.8 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.9324042128 60.3974514979 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.6 118.986275619 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.21951772744 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214114781415 0.243740707755 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0631463015954 0.0831039109588 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0670446137676 0.0758088955206 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115922120246 0.150359130593 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0685474602331 0.0667264976115 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 100.480337079 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.