Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The issue expresses whether or not formal education tends to restrict freedom of minds and spirits. In most countries, unerring the goals of formal education are to rear students in a way to can be a better human and develop their society. But, sometimes formal education can be a little harmful and hold back students mind and spirit.
First of all, it is important to point out things that help the mind and spirit become free. When everybody does activities that he/she likes it, then finds motivation to do it in the best way. Motivated people with permanent effort can create or obtain huge goals. So, formal education provides a curriculum from different fields for example math, biology, chemistry, geometry, language, sport, and arts to introduce most fields and account for students to discover their interests. So, if somebody likes a field they can continue to learn it and progress their creativity in that way. Thus, an effective curriculum in formal education makes a chance for students to find their interests and pleasures.
On the other hand, there is something wrong in the process of learning in formal education and it is a flowchart in the curriculum. Whether a uniform curriculum will be efficient for the nation, yet it can be boring for students. In some countries, formal education follows a flowchart for learning program and compel students to obey a flowchart instead of own interests. For example, who are interested in art and not interested in math, have to study mathematic and do not allow them to set their minds and spirits free. There are lots of examples in actors and actresses who do not have a university degree or high school diploma. They are generally finding and progressing their interests.
Finally, While formal education enforces students to do limited activities, it consumes all time and energy of students. We are familiar with the expression “top students” that imply to students who can better adapt themselves to the curriculum. Therefore, they are encouraged by teachers or parents. But, it should be noted that all students are not similar to each other and they are a different person with different talents and interests that if there do not have freedom for minds and spirits, they may become depressed. Teachers want students to read lessons that may not be attractive and do not grow student’s creativity and increase stress in students to get a better score and compete with each other to be top students. Thus, in some cases, students squander their time and energy to satisfy teachers and parents instead of considering own interests and creativeness of their minds.
To sum up, the main purpose of formal education should be preparing students to find their interests and make their minds and spirits free from the uniform curriculum which makes them bored. Formal education should consider students' differences and have important rules to improve their talent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 21, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
The issue expresses whether or not formal education tends to restrict free...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to program'
Suggestion: to program
...cation follows a flowchart for learning program and compel students to obey a flowchart...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 696, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...inding and progressing their interests. Finally, While formal education enforces...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rests and creativeness of their minds. To sum up, the main purpose of formal ed...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, first of all, in some cases, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 34.0 14.8657303371 229% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2463.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 485.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07835051546 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67680963271 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 215.323595506 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457731958763 0.4932671777 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 748.8 704.065955056 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2796218939 60.3974514979 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.086956522 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0869565217 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.82608695652 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 10.2758426966 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133314828392 0.243740707755 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0472625905183 0.0831039109588 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0403825782332 0.0758088955206 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0974875750886 0.150359130593 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0331163705256 0.0667264976115 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 100.480337079 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.