Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Many memoirs of great people often depict education as marring people’s creativity, as one can easily find in that of Ludwig van Beethoven. In this light, some people argue that formal education tends to restrict people’s creativity and mental freedom. Although there are some cases where education limits people’s creativity, I adamantly believe that formal education is crucial to liberate our minds and spirits in most cases.
Granted, in some cases, formal education often restrains our minds and spirit. This is because the obstinacy of the formal educational curriculum sometimes hampers people from thinking in a different way. To illustrate, in the case of dealing with Ludwig van Beethoven, his characteristic deviation from the early composing tendency of Baroque music epitomizes this perspective. Although Beethoven underwent formal education curricula by his father as a kid, he was disgruntled by the stiffness of the composing technique and later tried to defy the convention of Baroque music. Therefore, he tried a series of musical experiments that culminated in one of his most significant symphonic works, Eroica. In that symphony, Beethoven composed his music in an unorthodox way, which is manifested in the reversed tempo of the second and the third movement of the symphony. If Beethoven had just passively followed the formal education, he would not have been able to compose such an innovated work and became one of the most significant classical composers. Therefore, as this compelling example reveals, there are indeed some cases where formal education vitiates an individual’s creativity.
Regardless of the previous case, however, in most cases, formal education actually plays a pivotal role in extending people’s creativity and liberating their spirit. This tendency is especially significant in the academic fields, for many creative academic works were in general engendered within the context conveyed by formal education. The theory of relativity created by Einstein can illustrate this point of view. Although peoples sometimes misunderstand that Einstein’s theory of relativity was entirely different from the classical mechanics, but that is not the case. The very motive of his theory of relativity was to reconcile the discrepancy between the classical physics and the classical electrodynamics. Therefore, he actively used the knowledge that he gained throughout the formal curriculum. Furthermore, when he was formulating the theory, he actively adapted the differential geometry that he learnt during his PhD. In other words, the theory of relativity could not have been invented were it not for the extensive formal education he had underwent throughout his early life. Therefore, formal education indeed plays a pivotal role in developing creativity and spiritual freedom.
Furthermore, the positive effect of the formal education on creativity is not restricted to the field of science but also extends to the field of the arts. This is because the creativity of the arts is often within the context that constitutes the formal pedagogical curriculum. For instance, the case of Johannes Sebastian Bach can substantiate this point of view. Unlike Beethoven, however, Bach’s greatness does not come from his departure from the formal convention of Baroque music. Rather, he culminated the musical convention throughout his musical works, such as his Mass in B minor and St. Matthew’s passion by thoroughly studying them by following a series of formal curriculum. Therefore, even in the arts, formal education plays a pivotal role in the artist’s creativity.
In brief, although there are some cases where formal education restricts our mind and spirit, it in general significantly contributes to our creativity. Therefore, rather than myopically seeking something creative outside the formal education, young people should thoroughly understand the knowledge that formal education conveys.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 185, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a different way" with adverb for "different"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... sometimes hampers people from thinking in a different way. To illustrate, in the case of dealing ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 750, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unorthodox way" with adverb for "unorthodox"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... symphony, Beethoven composed his music in an unorthodox way, which is manifested in the reversed te...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 934, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... geometry that he learnt during his PhD. In other words, the theory of relativity...
^^
Line 3, column 1060, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'undergone'.
Suggestion: undergone
...r the extensive formal education he had underwent throughout his early life. Therefore, f...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, however, if, second, so, therefore, third, as for, as to, for instance, in brief, in general, such as, in most cases, in other words, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 58.6224719101 133% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3362.0 2235.4752809 150% => OK
No of words: 598.0 442.535393258 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.6220735786 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94510247834 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01081186516 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 267.0 215.323595506 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446488294314 0.4932671777 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1068.3 704.065955056 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.2370786517 138% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.2753744249 60.3974514979 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 120.071428571 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3571428571 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.46428571429 5.21951772744 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13628848575 0.243740707755 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0465349839883 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0430875242119 0.0758088955206 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0971658256736 0.150359130593 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.030594149944 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.1392134831 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.8420337079 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.1639044944 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.38706741573 105% => OK
difficult_words: 155.0 100.480337079 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.