People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Behavior is a complex feature of human. Society and external factors plays a major role in shaping our behavior. The prompt asserts in the similar direction that our behavior is result of external factors and contributed by individual himself. I mostly agree with the prompt's stand that the way of act is dependent on our immediate surrounding for two reasons, but I do concede that there are some extreme cases where behavior is shaped mainly by inner forces.
First of all, our environment of upbringing plays a key role in shaping a person. Family environment is the first teacher for a child. For example, a child brought up in an abusive environment seeing his father misbehaving with his mother. Slowing the child will also accustomed to such routine. In future, when the girl will get married, she will also behave rudely with her husband. She will not find such act as inappropriate. On the contrary, the husband will feel surprised to see such response, because he was brought up in benign and calm environment. This example shows clearly that our immediate environment plays a crucial role in molding a person. Other the other hand, if a child from underprivileged background comes in contact with supportive teacher may get transformed. Earlier leading a life with no motivation and aim, boy will learn to study and adapt to become a better person in future. Both the examples demonstrates that way of upbringing can transform a child in both positively and negatively.
Secondly, circumstances or external factors provoke person to behave in certain way. For example, an officer in government department is well known for his honesty and dutifulness. He is well praised and received appreciation for this attitude against corruption. However, the person came to know that his wife is diagnosed with cancer. The treatment and surgery requires huge sum of money in order to save her. This big trouble may intrigue him to accept bride. Such difficult circumstances and dilemma plays a pivotal role in deciding the next course of action. This shows that many times situation in life i.e. an external cause becomes the driving force to determine the behavior of a person.
However, I do concede that there exists a few extreme cases, which shows the behavior is outcome of our inner attributes. For example, Hitler from Germany. Although he suffered a lot during his childhood and he was affected by WWI. These events shaped him as a person but upto a very extreme extend. He became obsessed with his power and he became epitome of cruelty. His abhorrence towards child or female was equally same. In peak of his career, he was formidable and took many damaging decisions. Millions of people lost their life. He was not the only one who faced troubled childhood but he was motivated by his inner traits, greed and satisfaction.
To conclude, I mostly agree that people's learn most from their immediate situation, their behavior is driven by upbringing and immediate external circumstances. But, I do concede that there are few cases when inner traits drives and governs the person most.
- Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve 70
- People s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making 16
- It is primarily in cities that a nation s cultural traditions are generated and preserved 50
- Although innovations such as video computers and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students these technologies all too often distract from real learning Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree 54
- People s attitudes are determined more by their immidiate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole 16
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'accustom'
Suggestion: accustom
...his mother. Slowing the child will also accustomed to such routine. In future, when the gi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 297, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'In the future'?
Suggestion: In the future
...d will also accustomed to such routine. In future, when the girl will get married, she wi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 898, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...udy and adapt to become a better person in future. Both the examples demonstrates that wa...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 586, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'times'' or 'time's'?
Suggestion: times'; time's
... course of action. This shows that many times situation in life i.e. an external caus...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 338, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d. He became obsessed with his power and he became epitome of cruelty. His abhorr...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, as for, for example, first of all, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 33.0505617978 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 58.6224719101 102% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2588.0 2235.4752809 116% => OK
No of words: 518.0 442.535393258 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99613899614 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74859547052 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 215.323595506 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511583011583 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 812.7 704.065955056 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.2370786517 168% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.1262358697 60.3974514979 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.1176470588 118.986275619 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.2352941176 23.4991977007 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35294117647 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0923687538105 0.243740707755 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0245279186727 0.0831039109588 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0526320399513 0.0758088955206 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0646588101294 0.150359130593 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0442908201371 0.0667264976115 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 14.1392134831 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 100.480337079 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.