A society should instill to its young people the sense of cooperation and no competition

Essay topics:

A society should instill to its young people the sense of cooperation and no competition.

The society has the responsability to prepare its young people for the future. In fact, this is not easy because of uncertainties whether to instill cooperation or competition among them.The prompt recommends that the best way is encouraging the young people to not compete more than cooperate. In my opinion, I totally agree with this argument and argue that cooperation makes the world go forward and not the competition for two reasons.
Young people are not adults. Adults can compete because they are on their own. Young people is better to work together because this is good for them as citisens to learn about collaboration and the sadisfaction it brings. For example, students in school come to be prepared in all subjects and this is not easy. It takes time and effort to learn and progress in order to get a good education until they grow up. If students are facing competition among them, this will stress themmore and they will miss one of the best values of working together.
Secondly, young people need to have fun. Fun is working together and not having to worry about compiting. For instance, in an environment like schooll,teachers have to make it clear before each activity that it is not a competition. It is about having fun. In addition,the latest research says that competition increases stress for the young people by releasing the stress hormone in their brain.
In conclusion, society has to pay extra care to young people because they are the future of the nation. They have to feel good and not be challenged by compiting with each other. Society has to encourage cooperation, which is proven to be a good motive for progress.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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2024-01-18 luljaime 50 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 188, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...l cooperation or competition among them.The prompt recommends that the best way is ...
^^^
Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , teachers
...instance, in an environment like schooll,teachers have to make it clear before each activ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 268, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ion. It is about having fun. In addition,the latest research says that competition i...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, second, secondly, so, still, as to, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1375.0 2235.4752809 62% => OK
No of words: 283.0 442.535393258 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85865724382 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.55969084622 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76431255756 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 215.323595506 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.52296819788 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 426.6 704.065955056 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.6091679735 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.8823529412 118.986275619 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6470588235 23.4991977007 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 5.21951772744 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240186507257 0.243740707755 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0848583099283 0.0831039109588 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.092942381781 0.0758088955206 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153679840032 0.150359130593 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0884233750378 0.0667264976115 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 14.1392134831 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.8420337079 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.1743820225 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 12.1639044944 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 100.480337079 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.