Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
How is violence increased in the society, is it through the media or peer group/parental influence? While some people can argue that violence is increased through what we see or hear from the media, others may stand firm that home and environment-as in the case of parent and peer group-are the major determinant of violence in children. Even though both constitutes to human's behaviour, I believe that children's behaviour is increasingly influenced by the parental role models and the children peer groups, because human's character's encapsulate what he or she sees in its environment. Things witnessed from the onset in the environment and home encapsulate what children would later develop on in the nearest future.
Consider a child that grow up in an environment where illicit behaviour is normal, irrespective of what the media present - be it good or bad - the child would grow on to believe that the behaviour is normal without viewing it as violence. Such child is strongly influenced by his immediate environment- be it peer groups or his parent influence. The media on the other hand will only augment the consequence of his foundation. The child would be prompt to be interested with stories or headlines related to what he view as normal. Why is violent rampant in an environment where they have zero access to the media? where did they inherit the bad behaviour they expresses? Surely from their parent or the people they associate with. They behave like the people of common interest or what they see their parent doing. Those behaviours become part of them even till they grow or leave the fold of the environment.
Also, since it is certain that the media comprises of good and bad, individual tends to take side, you are either inclined to the good side of the media or to the bad side. This inclination doesn't comes without root, it stems obviously from people around us, people we associate with, what we are interested in or who we take as role model. If a child take as role model a drug addict, it would appear to him naturally to always behave like the role model, he sees the role model as a perfect exampler for his behaviour, thereby longing to behave like the role model in all regards. This inclination towards the drug addict doesn't comes without foundation, if the upbringing of such child is good, there is high tendency that he wouldn't have taken a drug addict as role model. In this scenerio, the media can only help to buttress effect of the child orientation or upbringing.
Ultimately, increasing violence in an individual is strongly influenced by the children upringing from their parent and who they associate with than through the media. The media is just a means to butress the effect of the foundation-parental role model and peer group. Violence is high in a bucolic environment with little access to the media, this shows that peer group/parental role model influence the behaviour than the media. One can be inclined with either the good side or bad sides of the media based on the individual foundation.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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- Argument Topic The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company According to a recent report from our marketing department during the past year fewer people attended Super Screen produced movies 60
- Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society especially among children Others believe that children s peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children s beh 54
- In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area The Hillview landfill which has been undeveloped for decades is a perfect site for this plant The build 58
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 517, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'views'.
Suggestion: views
...stories or headlines related to what he view as normal. Why is violent rampant in an...
^^^^
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Where
...ere they have zero access to the media? where did they inherit the bad behaviour they...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 662, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'express'
Suggestion: express
...did they inherit the bad behaviour they expresses? Surely from their parent or the people...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 42, Rule ID: COMPRISES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of
...lso, since it is certain that the media comprises of good and bad, individual tends to take ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 191, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ia or to the bad side. This inclination doesnt comes without root, it stems obviously ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...his inclination towards the drug addict doesnt comes without foundation, if the upbrin...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 730, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...is good, there is high tendency that he wouldnt have taken a drug addict as role model....
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 179, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[4]
Message: You should probably use: 'are'.
Suggestion: are
... with than through the media. The media is just a means to butress the effect of t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, while, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 33.0505617978 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 12.9106741573 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2536.0 2235.4752809 113% => OK
No of words: 521.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86756238004 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7562431646 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.42802303263 0.4932671777 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 784.8 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.6395835318 60.3974514979 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.272727273 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6818181818 23.4991977007 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.18181818182 5.21951772744 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301492144213 0.243740707755 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0986829753554 0.0831039109588 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100731786655 0.0758088955206 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.219576935829 0.150359130593 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.140821590071 0.0667264976115 211% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.1392134831 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.