Young people should be encouraged to seek fame and wealth instead of long term goals

Essay topics:

Young people should be encouraged to seek fame and wealth,instead of long term goals

What do you think, should young people be encouraged to pursue, Long term realistic goals or fame and recognition? Some might argue that younglings should be encouraged to chase fame and recognition, because of the associated perks that comes with it. But others would argue that long term realistic goals should be encouraged because of the stability, that comes with it. After weighting the evidence, it is certain that fame and recognition should be encouraged to pursue rather than long term goal and all that comes with it.
A fundamental argument in the favour of pursuing Long term realistic goals has to do with its associated safety and financial stability. Take for example, a young athlete who gives up education, pursing a professional career, and goes straight into sports. Although, as the fame and recognition starts coming in, so does abundant wealth, some people would argue that what if such an athlete sustains a career ending injury, his/her playing days are definitely over, therefore working towards a long term career goals such as a scientist, a banker or an engineer is a safer more realistic approach.
Notwithstanding the foregoing reason in favour of pursing long realistic goals, fame and recognition could be used to make money in other different ways, I talked about the young athlete earlier, and that if that person sustained an injury, his/her career might be over. Well, that referred only to his/her playing career, such a person could channel the fame and recognition to another stream of revenue, he/she could definitely write a book, become a TV show host, venture into the entertainment industry, all of which would still make very good money compared to what a “career man” could ever dream to make.
Another reason why pursing immediate fame and recognition should be encouraged is that it could be channel to raise awareness, fight for human rights, to bring change to society. For example, consider the case of Kanye West. West started his music career at a relatively young age, now he is a billionaire, he is also married to one of the most popular women on Earth, Kim Kardashian. West frequently uses fame and recognition as a platform to champion certain issues such as fighting against police brutality, ending rape and corruption. He even recently announced that he is going to vile for a post as the President of the United State of America, certainly his fame, recognition and past achievements would easily get him votes.
In conclusion, it is clear that young people should be encouraged to seek fame and recognition, instead of long realistic goals. The case of the young athlete, and Kanye west are all exceptional examples of why seeking fame and recognition is the better choice of the two.

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Average: 6.2 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oals. The case of the young athlete, and Kanye west are all exceptional examples ...
^^
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nye west are all exceptional examples of why seeking fame and recognition is the ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, still, therefore, well, as to, for example, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2300.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 459.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01089324619 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72363396784 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494553376906 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.6419645848 60.3974514979 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.75 118.986275619 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.6875 23.4991977007 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.3125 5.21951772744 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.425750371466 0.243740707755 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.166813716962 0.0831039109588 201% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157925307127 0.0758088955206 208% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256510482511 0.150359130593 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.157199579172 0.0667264976115 236% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.1392134831 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.37 12.1639044944 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 100.480337079 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.