Some people think that advertising aimed at children should be banned To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some people think that advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, adverting industry has progressed at a fast-paced around the world and we are too familiar with the attendance of big star names such as Lionel Messi or Christian Ronaldo and so on. However, the thing that amazes us the most is that recent advertisements have the participant from young children and there are lot of arguments about should it be prohibited. For me, I totally disagree with this argument.
For the majority, people will argue that without the contributions of the young generation including the children in the commercial advertisement will lead to the degradation of productivity in selling goods, so these company finances will be lost with an exponential amount. That is a really truth when we talk about advertised fields because most of the well-known brand’s name of junk food, toddler’s toy and educational stuffs are easy to access invariably for children. Most of these company’s customers are the young generation, with the largest proportion made up in these company’s consumers. Therefore, without these business strategies, companies can not peak its profit highly in these present world.
Secondly, for the opponent to this statement, they highly recommend that this action can improve children’s consciousness about the advantages of the products. Naturally, there is invariably something that is so called “good and bad” because not all everything that the commercial advertisement aimed at is good such as junk food, tobacco, smoking and alcohol. However, we can not always take it for granted, there are still some good advertised contents targeted to the green environment, health nutrient and educational infrastructures. For example, milk product commercial advertised in an avocado farm with children drinking milk, cows and green fields, these things are so lovely beautiful. So that children are likely to love drinking milk more and concerning about their growing body nutrient.
In conclusion, though there are a lot of arguments about the popularity of children advertising commercials. I do believe that this is an open world, everyone had chances to create a good environment for their children. For my opinion, advertisement purposed to children can bring about good effects for both these companies and those children. So that there should not be any restriction for this action.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 284, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('really') instead an adjective, or a noun ('truth') instead of another adjective.
...ost with an exponential amount. That is a really truth when we talk about advertised fields be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 483, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this company' or 'these companies'?
Suggestion: this company; these companies
...access invariably for children. Most of these company’s customers are the young generation, w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 574, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this company' or 'these companies'?
Suggestion: this company; these companies
... with the largest proportion made up in these company’s consumers. Therefore, without these b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 801, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ning about their growing body nutrient. In conclusion, though there are a lot of...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 407, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...not be any restriction for this action.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, for example, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 7.0 243% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 1.00243902439 898% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 6.8 162% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 3.15609756098 349% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 38.0 5.60731707317 678% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 33.7804878049 127% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 3.97073170732 327% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1989.0 965.302439024 206% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 369.0 196.424390244 188% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39024390244 4.92477711251 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 3.73543355544 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01571104603 2.65546596893 114% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 106.607317073 190% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.550135501355 0.547539520022 100% => OK
syllable_count: 599.4 283.868780488 211% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 1.53170731707 457% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 4.33902439024 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.07073170732 280% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 8.94146341463 179% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.4926829268 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.7041389583 43.030603864 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.3125 112.824112599 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0625 22.9334400587 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6875 5.23603664747 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 3.70975609756 297% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 1.13902439024 263% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169332475597 0.215688989381 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0611722878773 0.103423049105 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0361749889778 0.0843802449381 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111210421494 0.15604864568 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0276048534631 0.0819641961636 34% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.2329268293 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 61.2550243902 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.3012195122 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 11.4140731707 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.06136585366 108% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 40.7170731707 223% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.4329268293 131% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.9970731707 102% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.