The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The table compares about the underground railway networks with respect to their opening years, sizes and the number of folks who used them every year.
Overall, it can be seen that London, Paris and Tokyo had larger sizes and greater number of passengers than that of the rest.
London was the most mature underground being launched in 1863 with 394 kilometres of route, which was twice as many as Paris with 199km. Paris, despite being the second oldest railway system (1900), surpassed London in terms of the total commuters with 1191 million vs 775 million wanderers correspondingly. Tokyo headed the list with 1927 passengers, making it the busiest station, and ranked third in relation to the track with 155km.
When it comes to the contemporary railway networks, Washington DC (1976) was much higher than Kyoto and Los Angeles regarding the passages and travellers each year with 126km vs 11km vs 28km and 144 vs 45 vs 50 million riders respectively. The most recent rail line systems, Kyoto (1981) and Los Angeles (2001) constituted the least sum in both passages (11, 28) and numbers (45, 50), compared to the discussed aged ones.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
we realized that some sentences in task I are not developed so smoothly, though they are correct grammatically. for example, the introduction:
The table compares about the underground railway networks with respect to their opening years, sizes and the number of folks who used them every year.
also seems you just compare the data from top to the bottom. no varieties. read the samples carefully and think how other users are doing:
https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/table-below-gives-i…
https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/table-below-gives-i…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 191 200
No. of Characters: 913 1000
No. of Different Words: 120 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.718 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.78 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.42 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 41 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.204 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.757 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Dear sir, may i know the
Dear sir, may i know the mistake in my introduction? And i also did not get about the varieties that i must include. I look forward to your valuable suggestions. Thank you sir.
It is not a mistake. it is
It is not a mistake. it is correct grammatically.
First, talk about 'compare'. better to use 'compares with', or 'compare to', when 'compares about' is used, though it is not used wrongly, it doesn't feel so smoothly. Look at other samples:
The table illustrates the differences in terms of underground railway systems in six cities.
The table illustrates the underground railway systems in six major cities in the field of opening date, total length of route and annual ridership.
'illustrate' is used. feels better.
Second, look at 'with respect to their opening years, sizes and the number of folks who used them every year.'. either we don't need to use those categories, like:
The table illustrates the differences in terms of underground railway systems in six cities.
or make them simpler, don't need a clause 'the number of folks who used them every year', like:
The table illustrates the underground railway systems in six major cities in the field of opening date, total length of route and annual ridership.
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then let's look at the content:
London was the most mature underground being launched in 1863 with 394 kilometres of route, which was twice as many as Paris with 199km. Paris, despite being the second oldest railway system (1900), surpassed London in terms of the total commuters with 1191 million vs 775 million wanderers correspondingly. Tokyo headed the list with 1927 passengers, making it the busiest station, and ranked third in relation to the track with 155km.
see, you like to list them in a order,
the most
the second oldest
ranked third
and we see this style in other of your essays.
see how this user compares:
Likewise, the 20th century saw the establishment of the four remaining subterranean railway, of which the system located in Tokyo, being inaugurated in 1927, served the largest number of passengers at 1927 million, nearly doubling the second highest number recorded in Paris. This was followed by Washington DC’s subway with 126 km in lines and 144 million travellers. Simultaneously, data for system length and ridership of Kyoto’s system was smallest with 11 km and 45 million respectively.
it feels better.
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suggestions:
Read more sample task I essays by professional writers or from testbig users. see how they manage the content and graphs.
Thank you so much sir for
Thank you so much sir for your feedback.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
regarding, second, third, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 7.0 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 6.8 132% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.15609756098 158% => OK
Pronoun: 7.0 5.60731707317 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 23.0 33.7804878049 68% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.97073170732 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 945.0 965.302439024 98% => OK
No of words: 191.0 196.424390244 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94764397906 4.92477711251 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.71756304063 3.73543355544 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48920808764 2.65546596893 94% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 106.607317073 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.659685863874 0.547539520022 120% => OK
syllable_count: 250.2 283.868780488 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.4926829268 120% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 36.0272006083 43.030603864 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.0 112.824112599 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2857142857 22.9334400587 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.23603664747 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 1.69756097561 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 3.70975609756 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.09268292683 73% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0641945061816 0.215688989381 30% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0318300755264 0.103423049105 31% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0351836219928 0.0843802449381 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0430085116624 0.15604864568 28% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0427264335066 0.0819641961636 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.2329268293 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.45 61.2550243902 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.3012195122 100% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 11.4140731707 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.19 8.06136585366 114% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 40.7170731707 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.4329268293 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.9970731707 116% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.