Task 1 The graph below shows the percentage of people in different age groups in one city who attended music concerts between 2010 and 2015

Essay topics:

Task 1: The graph below shows the percentage of people in different age groups in one city who attended music concerts between 2010 and 2015.

The line chart illustrates the rate of music concert’s participants in different age groups in a particular city from 2010 to 2015.
Overall, it is clear from the chart that the number of youngers participating music concert made up the highest percent, while elderly people’s participation was lowest.
Looking at the graph in more detail, in 2010, the proportion of music attendants in age 25 to 44 was just over 50%, which was the highest percent at that time. Besides the figure for age group 16-24 and 45-54 was lower, just 40% each. One year later, the rate of youngest participants went up sharply to 57% and it reached a peak at 70 % in 2015. The figure for age group 25-44 and 45-54 witnessed an upward trend in 2015, it increased to around 53% and 49%, respectively.
Turning to the two elderly groups, the 55-64 age group’s attendance at music concert decreased slightly from about 25% in 2010 to 22% in 2015, while the proportion of 75+ age group rise significantly from 10% in 2010 to 20% in 2011 and after that it jumped to 21% in 2015, despite some fluctuation in between.

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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat the number of youngers participating music concert made up the highest percen...
^^
Line 3, column 261, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the youngest'.
Suggestion: of the youngest
...just 40% each. One year later, the rate of youngest participants went up sharply to 57% an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 272, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ch. One year later, the rate of youngest participants went up sharply to 57% and ...
^^
Line 4, column 149, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... about 25% in 2010 to 22% in 2015, while the proportion of 75+ age group rise sig...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, if, look, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 7.0 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 6.8 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 7.0 5.60731707317 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 33.7804878049 127% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.97073170732 126% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 905.0 965.302439024 94% => OK
No of words: 193.0 196.424390244 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68911917098 4.92477711251 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.72725689877 3.73543355544 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68973892865 2.65546596893 101% => OK
Unique words: 111.0 106.607317073 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575129533679 0.547539520022 105% => OK
syllable_count: 246.6 283.868780488 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.4926829268 120% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 70.4550804935 43.030603864 164% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.285714286 112.824112599 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5714285714 22.9334400587 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.23603664747 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.09268292683 73% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.323298724882 0.215688989381 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146206347268 0.103423049105 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0952787147915 0.0843802449381 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208128500283 0.15604864568 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0906889523642 0.0819641961636 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 13.2329268293 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.45 61.2550243902 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.3012195122 100% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 11.4140731707 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 40.7170731707 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.9970731707 116% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.