Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go.Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter:-Say why you would like to go on the trip-Suggest wh

Essay topics:

Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go.
Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter:
- Say why you would like to go on the trip
- Suggest what you could do to help during the trip
- Ask other questions about the trip

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am Amir Nazaripoor. I am going to write about the school excursion’s notice about which I have heard recently. My daughter is a participant in this trip. I want to nominate myself as a volunteer for the 3 days’ tour to Canada if school is still looking for parents to accompany on the trip. Apart from my personal reason which is about my daughter’s health and mental condition, I can be a good candidate to be chosen. At personal level, since 2 years ago, my child has been too terrified to be alone so her psychologist strongly prohibits to leave her unprotective and unsupervised since she may feel insecure and her condition can be exacerbated or worsened if I do not follow the psychological instructions and advice given to me.
But my ability in cooking delicious traditional meals can be an asset since not only are home-made foods better for children’s health, but also the nutritional values they have are not comparable with fast-foods. Besides, I am a sort person who is passionate about exploring different nations and culture which are believed to be the best way to admire the diversity of traditional and culture heritage and moreover, bridge the bi-cultural diversity by making children be familiar with their civilizations, too. I have worked as on international tourism expert for more than 20 years; hence my experience can be highly valuable in this trip as not only am I familiar with international languages, namely Spanish, French and Germany, but also my past trip to Canada makes me fully aware of accommodations and tourist attraction which can be huge problems.
Your prompt response would be highly appreciated.
Faithfully yours,

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Amir Nazaripoor :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 183, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...t also the nutritional values they have are not comparable with fast-foods. Besides...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, hence, if, look, may, moreover, so, still, apart from

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 7.48453608247 240% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 4.92783505155 142% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 5.05154639175 257% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.03092783505 165% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 32.9175257732 88% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 26.3917525773 121% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.85567010309 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1424.0 937.175257732 152% => OK
No of words: 281.0 206.0 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06761565836 4.54256449028 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 3.78020617076 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18845322431 2.54303337028 125% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 127.690721649 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.622775800712 0.622605031667 100% => OK
syllable_count: 457.2 290.88556701 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.463917525773 647% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 1.44329896907 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 16.3608247423 171% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 115.037399596 44.8134815571 257% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 142.4 76.5299724578 186% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.1 16.8248392259 167% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 4.34317383033 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.29896907216 70% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 7.41237113402 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.94845360825 51% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0831059620482 0.216113520407 38% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0392668071533 0.0766984524023 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0409440586014 0.0603063233224 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.073862460183 0.12726935374 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.029853967352 0.0580467560999 51% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 8.37731958763 197% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 70.7449484536 61% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 3.82989690722 292% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 7.45979381443 190% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 8.71597938144 142% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.3 7.59969072165 122% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 41.2886597938 184% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 8.62886597938 99% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 8.54432989691 154% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 8.15463917526 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.